One Last Problem
by Lio
Summary: Even Toothless knew Astrid and Hiccup had been a couple. But a year ago Hiccup suddenly stopped being around. Astrid is determined to find him and fix the problem.  Now with historical footnotes!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: **Well it finally happened. I fell so hard for this movie that I had to write smut for it. Anyone who s seen my fic before knows this is a pretty common occurrence. However, there are a few things about this story that make it stand out from my other offerings.

First off, this was the first fic I wrote that was intentionally novel-length. What that means to me is that I have proven to myself that I can plot and write a novel-length story. Something that is both inspiring and handy in my endeavors as a pro writer. What that means to you guys is smut. Lots and lots of smut. And logical smut at that.

And secondly, the footnotes. Many of the best HTTYD fanfic authors have enhanced their stories by doing hard research on Viking customs and culture, as well as referencing Viking history in asides to their audience. But I ve yet to see any regularly placed, clever footnotes ala Good Omens to show where people can learn more about the topics they're referring to. Loving Good Omens and good academic footnotes, I decided to correct that.

**I'm currently trying to use different methods to get around FF . Net's external-link bias**, so how you may access the links that go with the footnotes may change as time goes on. If you can't find them on the chapter you're reading **check the master list on my profile page.**

**Disclaimer: **While the blood and gore is kept to a minimum, the smut abounds. High levels of sexual content and sensuality, albeit of the giggling, true-love, First Time variety.

**Rating:** NC-17 after Chapter 6. PG-13 before it. Will update the rating accordingly.

* * *

It had started raining an hour ago, but Astrid hadn't noticed.

She didn't even notice when the light mist turned into a thundering storm overhead. She just kept doing what she had been doing since sunset: turning a perfectly good 100 year-old tree to toothpicks with her axe. Each spinning blow the teenager **[1]** delivered was accompanied with a scream, a curse to the Gods, or a grunt.

The only reason Astrid hadn't tried to attack the thunderclouds themselves was the fact that she couldn't reach them.

Toothless had been watching her for some time. She had to tire eventually. When she did, it would be the safest time to approach. Just because they couldn't speak each other's languages didn't mean they didn't know what the other was thinking. Or ask each other for answers.

That was one reason why he liked Astrid.

Astrid could change and adapt as a situation called for it. While the rest of the village treated their kind like large, lethal, overly intelligent house pets, Astrid treated them like rest of the tribe. She knew as Hiccup did, that dragons were just as smart, brave, loyal, and stubborn as the average Viking. She listened for their voices, as opposed to trying to plan what they would try next.

And when Hiccup wasn't in the picture, she fought for them as fiercely as he ever could. When Hiccup had to recover after the battle, she did the work of three people as she played diplomat to the dragons, trainer to the Vikings, and sometimes healer to the boy.

In fact when it came to Hiccup and himself, Astrid was there before the rest of the village - always with options, and always ready to help.

What was more, she respected his friendship with Hiccup and knew instinctively that it came first. But despite her attraction to the boy - an attraction anyone could see that was there - she did not resent him for it. She was his friend just as Hiccup was his friend.

It was clear to him that she was their human.

He knew that when the two humans finally selected each other and stopped the mating dance that had gone on for 3 cycles, there might be a few new rules between the three of them. Humans got irritated when they couldn't mate with their chosen partner in private.

But unlike other girls from the village, Toothless knew with Astrid as Hiccup's mate there would still be rides together and joy shared. They would still be family, friends, and companions. It was the way it had been on their first flight together.

It was the way things should have been now.

Hiccup had always been a strange boy. He did things differently from what the others in his village had. And Toothless admired that. Most of the things Hiccup questioned - and why he questioned them - showed a great deal of wisdom and a quiet, undeniable strength. A strength Toothless had come to see was present in a great deal of the facets of Hiccup's life. But his strength could be useless if it ran into frustration, like when he tried to explain an advanced idea to the rest of the village.

Or when he tried to talk to the one girl he was head over heels in love with.

So at first, it didn't seem strange that his dance for Astrid would be long. It didn't matter that their peers had paired up quickly, or that those peer's mating dances had been brief and to-the-point. After all, a Natter may take years to find a mate whose coloring was as brilliant as their own. Even if two Natters had met before, they could never be certain until they tested each other. And Astrid was testing out the boy as much as he was testing her.

But after 2 cycles of nervous laughter, closeness, and anticipation... Hiccup seemed to stop the dance all-together.

During the third cycle his friend began disapearing from Astrid's life. He told her tales of lessons that didn't exist and obligations he didn't have so he could avoid spending time with her.

But when he could have been out with Astrid, he went to his room cradling his head in his hands. As soon as Toothless smelled the tears he would come in, and his boy would scratch him in exactly the right spot on his neck, talking to him.

Hiccup rarely ranted, but he talked here and there. And it would always end the same. He would rub his left knee and say, "She'll be fine."

For the life of him, Toothless didn't know what the boy was talking about.

Astrid had not rejected his dance. And if Hiccup had rejected hers, the dragon suspected bones would be broken.

Astrid had not stopped caring about him. Quite the opposite. Past a point when even the most determined Terror would have long since given up the hunt for an easier meal, Astrid followed him, stalked him, and tried to engage him. Toothless had seen her reverse back flip off a roof and into an alley way to 'accidently' run into him, then bellow helfire when he swore he had other plans.

And there had not been the strange madness that comes over humans soon after they mate, and suddenly feel they must separate. He had never smelled one on the other as he sometimes did with the rest of mated pairs in the village.

Hiccup had simply stopped the dance. Had given up his best chance at a loving mate. And Toothless did not know why.

There was a loud, wet thwack as Astrid's battle-axe sunk itself into the remains of the tree. Astrid tried to pull her axe free, but it would not budge. Her muscles had either finally given out, or she had finally driven the metal too deep in.

She didn't immediately believe it though, and using all of her arms and legs she tried to pull wood from metal in a number of different positions.

Finally, with a scream of rage, Astrid began thrashing the tree with her bare hands and feet.

When her knees hit the muddy ground underneath her, Toothless wrapped his tail around her waist and pulled her into the shelter he had created under his wing.

Astrid didn't know she was sheltered from the rain at first. Careless to the world she had wrapped her arms around her knees and loudly breathed as she stared out into space. But when Astrid finally pulled herself out of whatever agony was going on in her mind and saw where she was, she fiercely grabbed Toothless' nearest leg.

She was shivering in the warm rain as if she was lying in the middle of a blizzard. Toothless wrapped his wing around her like a mother to her fledgling.

"Is it true? What they're saying in the village?"

The two of them had not been the only ones to notice the change in his boy. After defeating the Green Terror and all but guaranteeing his place at his father's side, much was speculated about Hiccup and Astrid becoming the next generation. But when things didn't move forward, talk began to start.

To a Viking s mind, there was nothing worse than being a 'sansor inn,' a vulgar term for a man who serviced other men. But what else could you call a boy who seemed to play 'fu flogi', a marriage-dodger, when offered a girl like Astrid? **[2]**

It certainly wasn't said in front of the Chief or Hiccup, but it was said. The day previous Astrid had overheard the word and soundly thrashed a grown Viking man unconscious by presuming it. **[3]**

But Toothless was with Hiccup more than anyone else. He knew the boy had only had eyes for the soaked and sullen girl weeping next to him. So he shook his head.

"Then WHY?" Astrid was growing more upset than sad now, starting to build herself up into an honest rage. "Why won't he see me? Why doesn't he talk to me as much as we used to? What happened? What went wrong?" She was waving her hands now. "What, did he finally realize that I'm not going to be a house woman for him?"

Toothless let out a snort that couldn't be interpreted as anything but 'ridiculous'.

Astrid looked up, smiling bitterly. "You're right. He spends far too much time watching me practice. He acts like I'm not supposed to see him ogling me from the stands, but I see him. He still watches me with that goofy grin for hours. At least before he disappears. No. Something else happened. Something else is going on."

Toothless subtly nudged her in the direction of the village.

"I'd go if he was there. I checked everywhere before I came out here. He's hiding somewhere."

Toothless snorted. As if Hiccup could hide from him for more than an hour. And even then, he'd be bubbling with excitement to tell him where he'd been. The only time they'd spent apart since they became friends was a night when Hiccup was trying to design a better foot and Toothless was in the mood to do anything but work. Hiccup had managed to slip away with his notes, but Toothless found the boy hiding in a cavern in the side of the canyon where they'd... first practiced... flying.

"What?"

Astrid was suddenly watching him, intently.

"Do you know where he is?"

Toothless gave the same shrug that Hiccup did when a project was technically done, if you discounted the real possibility that it would send somebody into the side of a cliff.

Astrid was suddenly triumphant.

"You know where he is."

* * *

The mouth of the cavern could have been tricky to get into with the rain. **[4]**

There was a ledge, if you could call it that. But the thick moss that grew on the spot where the lip jutted out tried to trip anyone - or any dragon, in Toothless's case - that dared to walk on it. Thankfully there was thick rope and holders that were drilled into the side of the rock.

She remembered Hiccup working on something that looked like these holders, and the way they adjusted when girl and beast put their weight on them made it clear who had attached the things to the solid rock face.

"If he doesn't already take his life in his hands..." Astrid found herself muttering as she hauled herself inside.

As she rung out her hair - and rung it out again after Toothless shook the water off him like an overgrown dog, she looked around the cave Toothless had brought her to.

The mouth extended for a good 20 feet directly into the rock face. The shelf was fairly flat, although just round enough on the outside edge to encourage a fatal fall onto the floor of the canyon below. But as you traveled further inward, things became interesting.

Then it started to quickly descend into a dark pit. It looked just steep enough to be dangerous, but strangely tempting in the way the lip smoothly curled into the darkness. To the right, the familiar rope and holders followed a raised, natural ledge down into the darkness. Someone had decided to go down there to explore.

And Astrid knew there was someone down there. The wet walls reflected the faint flickering shimmer of a campfire. And Astrid could smell smoke. She could faintly hear an echo of a voice that might have been familiar.

"Is that Hiccup?"

Toothless, who had followed her footsteps to the peak of the drop, sniffed the air. He gave Astrid a satisfied nod.

"Who else is down there?"

Another sniff, but then a look of understanding. Toothless shook his head and Astrid got it too.

"Talking to himself again. He must be frustrated about something."

Hopefully, Astrid thought uncharitably, it was because he was stuck down there and couldn't get out. It had been hard enough lately tracking Hiccup down so he could give her some flimsy excuse as to why he couldn't be with her that day. If he saw her coming, he usually had an escape route in mind. And fairly effective ones for a boy who wasn't as fast as he used to be.

If she had to go back out into the rain to chase him down, she would not be happy.

"Is there anyway out besides the front?"

The head-shake Toothless gave was smugly sinister.

"Good."

Toothless blasted the rock below him into a fire bed, and settled himself with his back to the open air and his face to the guts of the cave. His eyes were watching as Astrid carefully made her way down the shaft.

And as Astrid went further and further down, she started to pick up bits and pieces of a conversation.

"... I know I sound like a... no, that's not the best way to... can't get her alone like that..."

The floor of the cave was a mass of gravel, dead leaves, a few branches of various sizes, all of which made it difficult to sneak up on a person. Difficult, but not impossible. Somewhere along the line a group of boulders had fallen in. They were scattered here and there, more or less dividing the large cave floor in half.

The boulders had been worn into smooth stones by some strange combination of internal and external elements. The little camp Hiccup had set up was on the other side of the biggest of the boulders. A good way to protect yourself from the worst of the weather above, but no help hearing someone sneaking up on you if you were talking to yourself. It was child's play for Astrid to run, ducking between boulders to spy on whatever Hiccup was doing.

But when Astrid had positioned herself on the other side of the person-sized boulder he was leaning against, she heard him quietly whimper something she hadn't heard him say is ages.

"Astrid..."

Astrid cautiously peered around the boulder.

It looked like Hiccup was planning to be here for a while. Either that or he had been here a few times before and been foresighted enough to keep a stash of supplies. There was a small stack of firewood off to the side, through the small pile of kindling next to it looked as though it had been mostly collected from the cave floor. A small fire pit had been dug and a collection of smaller round stones had been carefully placed around them. A small, hardy fire was currently cooking a fish that had just started to burn. An open pack was sitting on it's side on the other side of the fire, just far away enough not to scorch the contents. And a half-dozen notebooks - some filled with words, some filled with schematics for inventions, some filled with sketches - lay scattered across the small blanket Hiccup was sitting on.

Hiccup was hunched over in despair. One of his hands was clamped over his eyes, as if holding them would force the tears to stop coming.

"...Oh Gods," he was muttering, "Astrid."

His voice was desperate, as if he was asking forgiveness for something horrible he didn't intend to do. Astrid wondered for a brief, nervous moment if he had heard her sneaking up on him.

But after some time had passed, he picked up his notebook and opened it up to a page that looked like it had been well worn.

Hiccup was never the best with drawing people. Or landscapes. Or anything that he couldn't build. But it was clear that the sketch he was looking at, one he had clearly put some time into, was of her.

There had been a time when she could often catch him staring at her while doing something in a notebook. It hadn't been for years, though. But so many things between them had been delayed for years.

Cradling the book in his hands, Hiccup tried to steel his face. Trying to wipe the tears off his face, the boy stared at the picture. "Right. After she gets out of class, you're going to walk up to her. You're just going to look her straight in the face, and say... 'Astrid. We need to talk.'"

"Yes. We. Do."

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Hiccup figures out the consequences for breaking the heart of a female Viking.

* * *

**[1] **I'm writing our two lovers just before their 17th birthdays. This gives them historical accuracy (which I'll go into in detail in other footnotes) and makes them old enough to prevent that creepy, filmy, jail-bait feeling from settling on me. (...Well, almost.)

**[2] **Actually, according to Gunnora Hallakarva AKA "The Viking Answer Lady," the actual translations are as follows: _"a man who shunned marriage was termed fu flogi (man who flees the female sex organ) while a woman who tried to avoid marriage was flannfluga (she who flees the male sex organ)" As for Viking style insults in regard to someone's sexual orientation: "N was part of a family of concepts which all have connotations of passive male homosexuality, such as: ergi or regi (nouns) and argr or ragr (the adjective form of ergi) ("willing or inclined to play or interested in playing the female part in sexual relations with another man, unmanly, effeminate, cowardly"); ergjask ("to become argr"); rassragr ("arse-ragr"); stro inn and sor inn ("sexually used by a man") and sansor inn ("demonstrably sexually used by another man")" _**Check out the links on my profile.**

**[3] **Astrid's not just taking out her considerable build-up of frustration. Viking society - at least when it came to sex- was a lot like a frat house. The worst slur you could lay on a man was a lack of interest in the feminine sex due to the fact that he preferred to take it like a member of the female sex. Not only was it seen as a weakness, it flew in the face of a society that needed fertility and a surplus of little Vikings running around to survive. And even a rumor could damage a hero's reputation. Sorry HTTYD slashers... **Check out the links on my profile.**

**[4]** Based on an actual piece of scenery from the movie. When Hiccup is first trying to track Toothless down, he finds some black scales littered on a rock ledge overlooking the canyon where Toothless learns to fly again. As they pan around as Hiccup looks for Toothless, just before the dragon shoots up trying to get over the wall of the canyon, you can see a definite depression or deep indentation in the side of the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**I hate it when lengthy author's notes start off every chapter just as a story really gets going, but I have to give mad props to a number of people before we go on: **

**Thanks to slpytlak, ..uh, Shigiya, reborn-fire-bird, Mooseluver8, UncleFester84, Ducklin, IdiotThinker, GhibliGirl91, LionHeart, and The Mad shoe1 for all reviewing. I'm glad to see I'm entertaining with my footnotes and irritating with my cliffhangers.**

**Thanks to ZDW4573 who helped me with a few weak points in the grammer of the first chapter. (Corrections have been made.)**

**And thanks to 'Just Me' for giving me links about historical life spans! (Although, I apparently have to word the 'thanks' in my author's notes better so I don't use the term 'jail bait' incorrectly and come across like a flippin' member of NAMBLA. /-facepalm-/) Once I rewrite the later chapters, I'll be tweaking the footnote in Chapter 1.**

**Unfortunately, even with some excellent suggestions, I can't get around FF . Net's external-link phobia. At least not yet. I'll be posting footnote links on my profile page until I can find a decent loophole.**

**And yes, even though the story is essentially written at this point, I will only be updating on Saturdays. I'm currently frantically looking for jobs and/or writing gigs, so my schedule for the rest of the week is pretty busy. But I drop notes on my fic-based twitter feed 'LiosFicTwit.' **

* * *

The half a second of confused fright that splayed across Hiccup's face was nice. Almost as nice as the punch Astrid landed solidly on his right eye.

"HICCUP. We. Need. To. Talk...

"No, wait. Astrid-

"Let. Me. START."

"I need to explain this to you - Odin's Beard!"

Astrid may have lost her battle-axe, but she was never without the hatchet she was currently swinging at Hiccup.

"WHY have you been avoiding me?"

"I need that, don't hit - GAH!"

Sparks flew as metal met stone, and Hiccup started darting around behind the boulders, switching sides as Astrid tried to follow him.

"WHAT is your problem?"

"I'll answer, just don't-"

"And WHEN were you PLANNING on TELLING ME?"

"NOW! I'll tell you NOW!"

"Then start talking!"

"Just put the hatchet DOWN!" Hiccup said, still awkwardly dodging.

Caught between a snarl and a pout, Astrid slumped down on a nearby rock. The hatchet hung lifeless between her legs as she glared at the fire. When Hiccup inched over to her, she casually handed it to him. Blade first.

"OK." Hiccup said, taking the hatchet as if he was testing out an exploding sandwich. "This is good. This is progress."

"Progress would be YOU telling me what's going on. You know, a few months BEFORE I get so frustrated I start swinging an axe at you."

Hiccup didn't deny it. His face like ashes, he lobbed the hatchet a short distance away.

"Progress would NOT be most of the village asking me what's going on with you when I don't know!"

Hiccup sat by her. He miserably peeked at her over his shoulder.

"Progress would be you talking now."

Hiccup looked down at his hands. "There's no easy way to say this."

"I think I know what you were trying to rehearse. I can't even pretend I didn't see it coming." Astrid could hear her voice tightening up. She gave herself a minute, but her next words sounded strangled. "Why? Just tell me. Why?"

"Oh Astrid, I... It's not you. It's not even the way I feel about you. I love you Astrid. Even when I didn't have a chance to get the time of day from you, I loved you. In fact, I wanted..."

Astrid was trying hard to be calm. Trying hard to deny she was hurt. Trying not to think that the words they had never had the courage to say to each other only came out now when Hiccup was trying to say goodbye.

The pause stretched.

"Go on, Hiccup."

"Well, it's... just that we're of age now. And for a while, I was thinking. About the future. I figured it was time to draw up a contract. **[5]** Dad talked to me about your father and mother dropping hints. He had no objections. And I certainly didn't object. So, what were we waiting for? But I wanted to be sure before we talked about it. So I started planning. And I started thinking about what we might come across when we joined together. I thought that with your warrior skills and my mind we could hack, slash, dodge or think our way out of anything. But..."

Hiccup's hands laced behind the back of his neck as he bowed his head. Astrid stared dumbly into the fire.

"After a while... I realized I was wrong."

"Wrong? Wrong how?"

"Just wrong. If it were one big thing, we could get around it. But there are things that would come up constantly. Everyday. You don't deserve to go through that. I shouldn't be the one who puts you through it! I shouldn't ruin your life because it hurts me to be away from you! I just..."

Hiccup's hands were now clinging the top of his head, as if he was trying to stop himself from flying away.

"I just want you to be happy."

"No."

"No?"

"No Hiccup, I don't accept that."

"Astrid..."

"If you want to convince me that we'd be so wrong together, you had better convince me the way you did about the racing saddles. When I said those new saddles wouldn't fit on a dragon the way you designed them, did you accept me at my word?"

Hiccup sighed. "No. I showed you."

"And you didn't just get on the saddle and ride. You showed me the plans you used to design them. You told me why you had rejected earlier designs. Then you raced me with Toothless wearing the new design. And if you want to walk away from this cave with only one leg missing, then you'll start explaining."

"These aren t nice subjects to talk about."

"I'm a Viking. I can handle it."

"Like I'd ever doubt - rgg! - Fine. Fine, let's start with the time."

"The time?"

"We don't have any! We've been training the rest of the village non-stop for months. Training them to ride, training them to act, then retraining them when they forget everything we've said! And even when the entire village is trained, we'll still be in demand. Is there really enough time to spend with each other?"

"It's not like teaching people how to train their dragons is any harder than learning to fight dragons. I like training dragons. I don't mind spending all my day apart from you, so long as we can crawl into bed together at the end of it."

She didn't know if the thought of them together, or the thought them in a bed, that made Hiccup grin ridiculously. Encouraged, Astrid scooted closer to the boy.

"Don't you think that would be nice? Just you and me together at the end of a long day. Snoozing. Talking. Trying to get comfortable, all elbows and knees."

To Astrid it was a nice picture. But something returned to Hiccup's face. A sadness that she had gotten to leave, for one brief moment.

"With as busy as I've been lately, I've been spending a lot of nights sleeping at the forge." he said, scooting away from her, "I might be spending a lot of nights there in the future as well."

"Don't tell me you don't know how to play hooky. When we were in Dragon training, you found plenty of time to sneak out and work with Toothless."

"And what about Toothless? I don't want to make him think like... like I'm leaving him because of you. You know he's my best friend. He was my first best friend."

"Then you should tell him that." Hiccup looked at her blankly. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "You tell me you're headed out to see Toothless, but Toothless has been finding me when you're supposed to be with him."

Hiccup suddenly looked drained. "But he's at home."

"He may be checking on you, but he doesn't stay. I know he worries about you. We fly a lot together. We talk too.

"You _both _talk?"

"As much as we can. He's worried about you. We've both been worried about you. And after a long flight we sit somewhere and I talk. I think he likes having someone talk to him about how they feel about you."

"Why would he seek you out?"

"Because we both need a friend." Astrid said, "And because we've become each other's friend. We had to."

"I've... Oh Gods, I've been horrible."

"He doesn't think that."

"So, what, you re an expert now on how he... gah, I need to get out of here!"

Astrid lunged forward and grabbed the boy's arm. Hiccup shook her off, and started packing his basket.

"You are not escaping again!"

"I'm not escaping! I've got to find him."

"He's at the mouth of this cave."

Hiccup stopped haphazardly throwing his supplies together. "He is?"

"He brought me here."

"How did you turn my best friend against me?"

"I didn';t do anything! Trust me, if any turning happened, you did it yourself. Maybe if you stopped giving me excuses and told me if there was a real problem."

"OK. Ok, Ok, fine!" Hiccup said, starting to gather his things up again, "You want an excuse? You're... you re a bad kisser."

Astrid's jaw dropped. "By Odin's Beard, you are such a liar!"

"You wanted the truth! You wanted a solid reason! Well, there." He pointed, "Lousy kisser."

"You haven't tried to kiss me in a year."

"And that's how lousy you were."

Astrid pounced, pinned Hiccup against the wall behind him, and gave him a thorough rebuttal.

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: Astrid proves a worthy debate opponent. **

* * *

**[5] **No Viking could marry without a marriage contract. A marriage contract was a legally binding document between the families of the bride and the groom as to what assets would be brought to the union. Families were further financially bound together by the exchange of gifts. The three traditional Viking wedding gifts were the _mundr _and _morgengifu _given by the groom s side as a token of good faith and the _heiman fylgia _or the dowry provided by the bride s family. More details about why each of these were important in future footnotes. ******Check out the links on my profile.**


	3. Chapter 3

Her heart sang when, a second or two after their lips touched, Hiccup began kissing her back.

She was certain he'd wanted her to do this - why else would you criticize someone's kissing? - but she was glad of the excuse. Gods, she loved kissing Hiccup. They hadn't got any farther than kissing, but she hadn't minded. It started out with a regular kiss on the cheek when people were looking. A peck on the lips when they weren't. And as situations called for it, they graduated to riskier and riskier touches.

He always started out slow and sweet, like he wasn't sure how long she'd let him do it. But once his hands started exploring he was as curious and voracious as he'd ever been designing an invention.

This time it took him a while to find his courage. She wasn't sure how long it took before his hands started sliding up and down her back. By then she'd pushed him back against a boulder whose curve neither left them standing or laying. But as she leaned against the boy, she couldn't help grinding her hips against his. Just a little bit.

As his hands finally began to travel, the little groan he gave reminded her of a day they'd had in training. The day when she had done a maneuver that Hiccup thought was impossible on a Deadly Nadder. After she and her Nadder had pulled it off flawlessly, she had been flush with victory. And after the other students had left, she'd grabbed Hiccup and dragged him out of the stadium.

There was a thin road between the stadium and the edge of the cliff it was built on. For safety's sake she had to push him up against the stadium's outer wall to kiss him. Laughing, Hiccup had kissed her back and things became quite physical quite quickly. She had managed to get one leg around his waist, one hand on his ass. They had been happily grinding away when they heard Fish Legs yelling for them.

It was a miracle they had heard him at all. They'd been kissing each other so fiercely that Berk could have sunk into the sea without them noticing and it wouldn't have surprised them.

Later Hiccup said it would probably be best - not that he hadn't liked it, and maybe they should look into something, but yeah – to avoid losing their senses in public.

A little darkness did wonders. In the daylight, the farthest his hands would go was her hipbones. Now he was happily grabbing and rubbing her ass and slowly working her skirt up. And he was still making those desperate little groans against her lips and tongue.

After a full year with careful dodges and not much else it all felt so wonderful. The pressure of his hands on top of her clothes. His tongue gently sparing with hers. She had been dreaming of more and she was already calculating how she could get things moving forward.

And he liked it when she took control. She'd never had to fight with a Viking-sized ego to try some of the things she wanted to try. And because he gave up control so willingly, she wanted to prove to him it was the right decision to make. Wanted to do things that would drive him mad and want to let her take charge again and again. And, oh, that was inspiring in and of itself.

When his hands found the skin of her inner thigh they were cold. It made her shiver and moan. Which made him stop. Which made her grab his ass and grind to let him know it was a good moan. His hands dove underneath her skirt, found the curve of her ass, and began grabbing and kneading her flesh.

Oh yes. YES.

Astrid started plotting a way to get his tunic off. The leggings were definitely coming off, it was just a matter of time. But the tunic seemed an excellent first step.

And then she moved her legs.

Her intention had been to straddle Hiccup's good leg. It would feel so good to rub against him while holding him close. And even if he didn't get her point, she might be able to... get to a point of her own. She had gotten her left leg over, no problem. But as soon as her right leg touched the latest prototype of Hiccup's leg, a sharp iron edge decided to introduce itself.

Astrid tried to stop the hiss as the pain came, but Hiccup noticed.

"Astrid..."

"Shh... c'mere."

It didn't work. He pushed her away.

"Your leg. It's bleeding. Pretty bad, too."

The cut was only about 3 inches long, but it was bleeding on the cusp of alarming.

Astrid quickly thought about all the different ways to treat wounds and if any of them would allow her to keep her seat. But before she could use 'elevating the wound' as an excuse Hiccup had gotten her off his lap, onto the ground, and was using a sheet from his notebook to clean up the blood.

"I'm sorry Astrid. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"What else could you have cut yourself on? A rock? Which rock?"

Astrid looked at him, suddenly exhausted and irritated. "Give me the parchment."

Hiccup held out the parchment. Astrid grabbed the wrist of the outstretched hand and pressed it against the wound.

Hiccup blinked at her.

She smiled.

He smiled back. She leaned forward.

But as he leaned to meet her, he suddenly seemed to remember something. Glancing down at his metal foot, he slowly tucked the limb out of sight.

"How's your leg doing?"

"The new model's working out well." Hiccup wasn't looking at her. He was staring at their joined hands as if trying to force her to let him go.

"May I see it?"

Hiccup's lips thinned, but he carefully brought the leg out.

The design was like nothing she'd even seen. Aside from a small notch just above the 'ankle' the leg was one long, smooth ribbon of metal curved in the silhouette of a leaping foot. **[6]** It was the notch that had scratched her - the rest of the foot was seamless. She released Hiccup's hand and touched the metal. She couldn't help follow with her fingers where it curved down to Hiccup's "toes" then back up to his remaining knee and thigh...

Hiccup's clothed knee flinched when she touched it.

"Does it still hurt?" Astrid remembered how long Hiccup had to learn - with different legs - to walk in a way that didn't hurt him.

"No, it's just sensitive now. Really sensitive. Even little touches are.. intense."

Intense. Astrid liked the sound of that.

"Why just one piece?" she asked, as her hands continued to run up and down the boy's metal leg.

"Well, I was flying with Toothless... in the... something..." Hiccup was having a hard time thinking and watching Astrid play with his 'foot'. "Rain. Right, the rain. And the springs and gears... in the... thing... the foot... Gobbler designed... rusted... I wanted to... something."

Astrid ran her hand up. Up over the 'Foot' and the 'shin', pushing the cuff of the leggings up over Hiccup's knee. She tried to grab the leather restraints covering the boy's knee and managed to get ahold of-

Empty space. Hiccup had gotten up and stalked over to his bag of supplies. He was breathing heavily, even thought the distance hadn't been that great.

Apparently he hadn't been distracted enough.

And he had started packing again.

"So," Astrid said, leaning against a rock, "We've proved that Time isn't the issue, Toothless will approve, and that I'm not nearly a lousy kisser as you think I am. What's your next excuse?"

"I don't have an excuse. I just think our parents won't exactly be happy with us going off and doing this on our own."

"Come on. You know our parents have been talking since Ruffnut and Snotlout's wedding."

Now there had been a strange wedding. If it hadn't been for the two sets of parent's interference, Astrid would have never seen those two together. The twins still worked together, riding their Zippleback, but Snotlout often came along for the ride, baiting Ruffnut by taking her brother's side. Good thing the girl was Viking enough to take them both on.

"I still can't believe those two are married," Hiccup said.

"Tell me about it. Someone's going to end up dead if Tuff and Lout don't quit trying to team up on Ruff like that."

"No, I mean, they're our age."

"Mom married my Dad when they were 12." **[7]**

"Yeah, but my Dad waited until he was 16." Hiccup reasoned, "Course there had been some bet he'd made with mom about collecting the hide of a Monstrous Nightmare. And for a few months we had been invaded by waves of Terrible Terrors."

"Maybe that's the reason he hasn't brought it up yet."

"That wouldn't have stopped the rest of the village from giving me a piece of their mind."

"The rest of the village is stepping back because they think you're trying to figure out something." Astrid couldn't help adding in a mumble, "Not that they aren't talking."

"And how do you know about all of this?"

"Because Mom's been encouraging me to help you sort out whatever problems you're going through."

Hiccup's face didn't changed much, but there was suddenly an exhausted look in his eyes. His mouth gave a funny, disappointed twitch downward.

"Your mom's been asking you to bring me around."

"More or less."

"Did she think kissing me would do the trick?"

Shit.

"No. That was all me."

"No, yeah, sure. You know when I don't see a friend for a year or so, and I finally corner them to start talking things out, I pin them down and make out with them."

"You were the one who was insulting my kissing technique!"

"And you were the one who took the bait! Weren't exactly mad at me then, were you?" Hiccup shouldered his pack and began making his way up the ropes.

"I took the bait because I wanted to kiss my boyfriend!"

"Since when am I your boyfriend?"

Furious, Astrid pulled her hunting knife from her boot. The cuff of Hiccup's leggings was still rolled up. It was child's play to slice through the leather laces on the back and pulling his leg off of him. Faltering, Hiccup grabbed onto the ropes with one hand and used the other to bunch the fabric so the stump of his leg couldn't be seen.

"How dare you, you little eel!" Astrid yelled, replacing the knife and spanking the boy with his own leg.

"You can't keep me here." Hiccup said, angrily trying to pulling himself up with the rope. "You can't control the rest of my limbs."

"And you can't understand how much your GIRLFRIEND knows about you." Astrid leapt in for the kill, tickling Hiccup under his arms.

With a shriek, the boy let go, hitting the floor of the pit hard enough the spray gravel. The top came off his satchel and the contents spilled onto the floor behind him.

Astrid pulled him loose from the pack, rolled him over and straddled his chest, pinning him to the floor.

"Say I'm your girlfriend."

"What? No!"

Astrid grabbed his hands.

"Say it!"

"Go to Hel!" **[8]**

She managed to get both of his hands in one of hers.

"Say it!"

"What are you doing?" This to Astrid yanking the hem of his tunic up to his collarbone.

"I'm going to torture you until you say it. Say it!"

"I'm not doing anything you tell me t- AH!"

Astrid blew a raspberry on his stomach that made his legs twitch. He had forgotten that she knew just how sensitive his stomach was. He held out for a minute of squirming agony before he gave in.

"Oh GODS, do you have to be a skjoldmø every single second of th-EEEEEE!" **[9]**

"Say it, or I keep pinching!"

"Fine! Fine! You're my girlfriend - oh GODS –" This after Astrid lowered her head, blowing cool air over the wet spot her mouth had made on Hiccup's belly, "- you're my girlfriend! Just stop it!"

Astrid released his hands with a confident flourish. The boy beneath her was flushed red and was breathing heavily. Astrid though the way the blush traveled slowly down to his belly button was strangely appealing.

"By Odin's beard," Astrid grinned, "you're stubborn."

"Well you don't exactly fight fair."

Astrid sat back to admire her handiwork, and she let a hand drift over the flushed abdomen of the boy beneath her. Hiccup had changed a bit as they had both grown up. He'd gotten some extra muscle, gained several inches in height- thankfully the same time she had - and his shoulders had widened nicely. He was definitely a man now, but his overall physique was still... well... Hiccup.

She liked the way Hiccup looked. The way his muscles shivered when she ran her hands over them. The glazed look he gave her when she touched him in a way that he really appreciated. And his gaze was certainly glazed now.

Well, she mused to herself as she ran her thumb over the boy's bottom lip, so long as we're down here...

Hiccup rose up to meet her lips as she leaned down. With four sets of hands in two heads of hair, their hips took up the conversation. They rolled and nudged, pushing against each other. It was hard to avoid not thinking about the things that could be happening if there were a few less layers of wool and fur in the way.

But Astrid had never done THAT before. Vikings were perverts at heart, and she had heard enough jokes in the great hall to prove that. But there was a double-standard in regards to who could enjoy what and when. Mostly against women who were not spoken for. Astrid decided early on to stay out of it; it kept gossip at bay and allowed her to focus on learning how to kill giant flying reptiles. Hiccup changed her mind on the latter during the battle of the green death. And he changed her mind on the former when they got together behind the stadium.

Kissing was addictive, grinding was amazing, but she needed something else. And it was right there. Growing and already hot against her inner thigh. The one part of the boy she'd never seen. She could feel it underneath her, felt how he reacted whenever she rubbed up against it. Every time she went to bed in the past year she had thought about it. Wanted to see it. Wanted to have it.

She'd gotten the tunic off, mostly. If she could just inch down his leggings, all she'd have to contend with was a loincloth.

But as soon as her hand left his hair to desperately start clawing at the waistband and it's fastenings, he stopped kissing her.

"Wait," Hiccup was panting, "No, wait. We've got to stop."

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Astrid finds out just what the problem is.

* * *

_Before we go to the footnotes this week, I'll like to extend an offer to the artists out there. If you create fanart of OLP, and post it on deviantArt, I'll create a 100 word short-short, written to your specifications. Contact me for more details!_

* * *

**[6] **I based Hiccup's new model foot on the real-life prosthetic leg designed for world-class athletes who just happen to not have feet. Aimee Mullins is the best example of this. A paragon of beauty, brains and health, she promotes disabled causes while showcasing new technology that has given those with physical disabilities a considerable edge on athletes with all their original parts. Check out Aimee's interview with CNN in the profile notes!

**[7] **In a Viking's life, the age of consent came early. Most Marriages happened between the ages of 12 and 16. The majority of marriages were arranged by the parents, and set in stone by a contract signed in the presence of an ombudsman or third-party. Getting to know each other was encouraged if the couple was already married, but if a boy was caught paying any undue attention to a girl without their families' permissions, the consequences could be severe. But more on that later.

**[8] **Not a typo. The Viking goddess of Death and the Underworld is named 'Hel'. The original meaning for the phrase 'go to Hel' meant the same thing as saying 'dropping dead.' And, much like today, it could be a euphemism for passing or an insult.

**[9]** The domain of a typical Viking woman started at the doorstep of her house. Once inside its walls, she ruled over everything; from what supplies went in the cupboards, to tending injuries and illnesses, to performing religious rites. However, she had little power in the outside world. With one exception. If she was warrior enough, she could be known as a "skjoldmø" or "shield girl". Belonging to this class of female badass gave you the right to wear armor, fight in battle, be independent, and never have anyone order you back to the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to my readers, I realized the first version of this chapter was confusing. The rapid-fire pace of the arguement sections left some people wondering just who was talking. So, to correct that, I've dropped in some indicators to clear things up.**

**Sorry for the confusion guys... and thanks to 'GhibliGirl91' and 'mattGGjones' for letting me know. And for leaving such wonderful reviews!**

**And, yes 'Just Me' I will be clarifying why Hiccup mentioned 'getting a date' in the movie when Viking courtship rituals could be deadly serious. Moving past a mere courtship into a marital relationship figures highly in a later chapter... and will be discussed in the footnotes then.**

**Oh! And FYI guys... if you want to debate with me on the chapters (I LOVE a good debate!), drop me a note outside of , or are just looking for an update as to what time the chapters are going up, you should check out my Twitter account. My handle is "LiosFicTwit" and a link to my account is on my profile page.**

* * *

Still holding fistfuls of hair, Astrid stared at Hiccup furiously.

For a full three seconds.

Then she lowered her head, looking at their still sandwiched stomachs and screamed.

She took a couple deep breaths, then met Hiccup's eyes again.

"Problem?" she asked.

"May I have my leg back, please?"

Astrid face flushed wine red with the effort not to respond. Her first impulse was to scream that she refused. Then, maybe some light punching. She even considered holding the boy down and doing whatever she wanted to him, now that it was harder for him to get away. But she knew none of those would work. Hiccup would just bolt even faster and farther once he finally freed himself.

So she got up. There were parts of her body that had been planning on going forward. And they were quickly going from warm and wet to aching and cold. She tried not to let it affect the way she was walking. At least she wasn't alone. She saw Hiccup pulling his tunic down to hide certain developments.

"Do you want to tell me what it is this time?" Astrid asked, swinging the leg back and forth.

"I know I shouldn't have let it get this far." Hiccup said, pulling a spare leather strip out of the spilled contents of his pack. "I was just acting on my... er... wants. I'm sorry- "

"That's not what I asked."

"I had to remind myself the reason why this wasn't going to work."

"So, we're down to just one reason?" Astrid extended the leg.

"More of less." Hiccup took it. "You can't get around it."

"Can't get around... what?"

Hiccup turned and pulled a piece of cloth that had clung to the inside of the cup of the leg. Astrid tried to walk forward, half-thinking she could help him. She'd wanted to help him for some time now, but he never seemed to let her get too close.

She realized things hadn't changed when the boy's shoulders visibly twitched.

"Please don't," he asked, quietly.

She took a step back, standing there without much to do and feeling frustrated and awkward.

After a moment, Hiccup finished what he was doing and put the leg back into place. Then, with some difficulty, he stood up.

"You're not going to tell me what this big problem is?" Astrid asked.

"I don't want you worrying about something that can't be changed."

"But you ARE going to mention it before you change the subject."

"Why mention it if it can't be changed?" Hiccup asked the floor.

"Why say it can't be changed, if you haven't had a second opinion on the matter?"

Hiccup's face as bitter as Astrid had ever seen it. "Why are you even here?"

"I'm trying to figure out what's going through that head of yours."

"No, why are you HERE-here? Don't you understand what a risk you're taking? What if someone found us?"

"Please, you're the one who has been avoiding me everywhere else!" Astrid fumed, clenching her hands, "You're never in our favorite spots anymore, so I can't talk to you in private. You keep making excuses about having somewhere to be or something to do, so a public discussion is out. Frankly, I'm surprised you're even asking me about my methods, since you've eliminated any other options I could have used!"

" I've never even heard of the village allowing a... pair of people our age."

"A couple?" Astrid spat.

" ... a couple to meet like we're meeting now."

"You can't have been so wrapped up in all of this that you haven't noticed what's going on."

"And what's been going on?"

Astrid smacked her hand against her face. Hiccup's father had evidently not taken him aside like her mother had. So, Hiccup had probably not been subjected to a 'do whatever you can to move things along, within reason' chat. Or a long list of descriptions on what was outside the boundaries of 'within reason.' Hiccup could probably still see a tub of yak butter without his eye starting to twitch.

"Like I said. People have been talking. Let's just say that the village understands your limitations and wants to help you out."

"So, you're just helping me out with my limitations. Great. Good to know. Should have copped to it earlier, but-"

Hiccup turned his back on her. Astrid grabbed his shoulder, swung him around and decked him in the stomach.

"That's for assuming I've got another reason for taking an interest in your 'limitations'!"

"You don't - " Hiccup paused briefly to cough through the pain, "have any interest in my 'limitations'."

"Of course I do! I have a great deal of interest! I've been thinking about your limitations for quite some time now."

"Well you don't have to focus on anything of mine that you don't want to."

"Well, what if I do want to focus on them?" Astrid asked, waving her arms.

"Oh come on. Do you really want to tell me that you find me..."

He stopped as if the word he was thinking of was a step too far. And he was clearly trying to find another word choice to avoid another punch. Astrid waited.

"Er... sexy?"

"Of course." Astrid said, firmly.

Hiccup's face was not that of a believer.

"What? I think you're very sexy! Even if the rest of the village doesn't think you're the hottest thing to walk the earth since Baldur left Breidablik to run a few errands for Nanna." **[10]**

"I'm not even the hottest thing that was scooped out from under the dragon perches this morning. But, thanks for the pep talk."

"Like the sarcasm is helping this situation."

"Like YOU really consider me sexy," Hiccup pointed out.

"No, you're right.. the two times I tried to nail you in the last few minutes? Total co-incidence."

"Right, like it was a total co-incidence how you finally noticed me."

"It wasn't co-incidence. I knew you were sneaking off to that valley, and I knew where to find you." Astrid said, "Unless it wasn't a co-incidence that you were planning to defeat the Gronkle on the day that the elder was showing up..."

"Not that co-incidence."

"Then what co-incidence?"

"The co-incidence that you started liking me after I proved I was actually worth something. You had no problem acting like a girlfriend after I tamed a Night Fury and became a hero." At her furious, slack-jawed expression, he added, "I'm just saying, timing was convenient there."

"I'm not some sort of... of... hero groupie! Yes, I noticed you when 'Hiccup the Useless' became 'Hiccup the Threat.'" She explained with vicious air quotes, "Yes, I liked it when you proved why Toothless was the reason that you had changed. And yes, it is very impressive that you wanted to do - and did - something no other Viking had done, because you cared about what happened to our dragons! But do you think I would have really fallen for you the way I did if you had nothing else to offer? By Freya's Shield!" Astrid yelled, getting in Hiccup's face, "If I went around falling in love with guys who had significant battle skills, or good status in the village, I would have been dating Snotlout from our first day of training!"

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

"I've..."

"Yes?" Astrid stepped forward, hopeful.

"I've... got this weird picture now, of you and Snotlout... dating."

"Oh." Then, as the image hit her too, "Ug. Oh Gods."

"OK?" The hand he extended was close enough to catch her, but not close enough to touch.

"I think I need to sit down."

The gravel under them skittered away as they slumped down. Each teen had their back against one of two boulders facing themselves by the fire. Both teens laid their heads back on the curve of the rock behind them, and stuck both legs out in front of them. The light reflecting off the very high ceiling of the cave was a blue-sheathed moonlight. Astrid belatedly wondered how Toothless was doing up there.

Hiccup's good leg was closest to the fire, so his bad leg and prosthetic had been covered in flickering shadow. Astrid couldn't help looking at it.

No one really got a chance to get a good glimpse of it nowadays. Hiccup had mended his pants so that the cuff usually fell just low enough on his leg not to show off the stump. The fact that he had let her touch the prosthetic earlier was another surprise. Hiccup had been, at least at first, eager to show off the modifications and improvements he'd made to Gobbler's overall good design. But as time went on, he insisted that people not call attention to it. Since it was Hiccup, it would be more a muttered comment for the observer to stop before he simply made himself scarce. But the village had changed its behaviors with relative speed.

Astrid lazily nudged her foot over so that it was a millimeter or so from touching Hiccup's new foot. She liked the look of every new design, but there was something charming about this one. Simple, yet strong. Plain but begging to be touched.

But when she stretched her foot out to meet his, he jerked it back. "Is - is there a reason you're bugging me?"

"Playing footsie isn't bugging."

"It is when I don't have a foot."

"Maybe you get me using my imagination."

But instead of responding back, Hiccup just miserably tucked the leg up under him. "Look, why do you... with... "

She hated to see him like this. He'd been getting flustered like this whenever his any of his accomplishments were brought up. Or, whenever he asked about his future.

Because of Hiccup, the village's future was bright. He had designed so many things for their new dragons it would take until next winter to get half of them built. He'd talked the members of the village counsel about exploring past the borders of the known world.

But Hiccup's future was not something Hiccup seemed to want to think about.

"Are you scared?" Astrid asked.

"Wh-what?"

"Dad was never the same after he was set on fire by one of the Monstrous Nightmares. He woke up screaming if we didn't douse the cooking fires. If we let them smolder all night, the smoke was too much for him. It got into his dreams."

"Thank you for the concern, but my dreams aren't the problem here."

Unconsciously, he tightened his grip on his left knee.

And Astrid suddenly knew what the problem they couldn't get around was.

"No."

"What?"

"Oh no."

"Astrid, what?"

"By all the tricks of LOKI, tell me your leg isn't the big reason!"

Hiccup weakly glared.

Astrid lunged to grab Hiccup by his bad knee.

Hiccup flinched and jumped back. "Don't TOUCH me!"

Astrid froze.

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY:** Hiccup Apologizes, Explains, and finally decides it's time to Negotiate.

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**[10]** Baldr, or Baldur, is the Viking god of beauty. On top of having the most smoking-hot bod in the Norse Pantheon, he owned the greatest ship in creation, "Hringhorn." His hall "Breidablik" was said to be the most beautiful place in creation. And, to really get you thinking that the cards were stacked in his favor, his wife - Nanna - was so devoted to him that she mourned herself to death at his passing. All that said, you wouldn't want to switch places with the guy. Seriously.


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy the last 'T' rated chapter guys. Next week we go to 'M'.**

**And thanks to Toothless-the-nightfury, Alana-kittychan, GhibliGirl91, slpytlak, just me, mattGGjones, Takira S., Gizmobunny, Shigiya, The New Leo, and The Mad shoe1 for posting the latest crop of kick-ass reviews. Keep them coming guys!**

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Hiccup flushed. "Sorry."

"Right."

An awkward pause like nothing she'd ever experienced stretched out before them.

It seemed the spawn of every bad joke Hiccup had told and every explanation of why the phrase 'Astrid, you almost fight like a man' was a good thing.

Astrid blurted out "Is it just me you don't like touching?" the same time Hiccup said, "I just don't want you to see this."

Then they looked at each other.

"Oh." Astrid said,

"Yeah, but," Hiccup tried, then miserably ended with a, "Yeah."

Hiccup unsteadily got to his feet. So did Astrid.

"Are you going to try and tell me that it doesn't make any difference?" Hiccup asked

"It doesn't. But, clearly, I can't tell you that."

"You don't usually get irritated when you try to lie."

"I'M not the one who's lying!" Astrid said, furiously pointing, "You're using THAT as an excuse to not be with me! I can be irritated about THAT!"

"I shouldn't need an excuse!"

"I shouldn't need to fight to be with you!"

In one massive rush, pain Astrid never knew Hiccup was facing rushed into his face.

"And who would want to be with someone who looks like I do now? I don't even want look at myself!"

Astrid was stunned. The pain in his voice was unmistakable as he began pacing as best he could and waving his arms frantically.

"Do you think I like getting up every morning and seeing this? Do you think the reasons why I made this sacrifice comfort me? I can say that I did this to save my father, save our village, save Toothless, and I feel satisfied. But what did I save for you? For us? There's nothing a crippled man could do for you." **[11]**

"My mother would disagree with you."

"Your mother was married and had you before she lost her arm. She had a situation where the people who loved her weren't in a position to leave."

"When did I leave you Hiccup?"

His mouth pinched shut. She knew there was nothing he could say and it was irritating him.

"When did I ever stop trying to talk to you?"

Hiccup took a shuddering breath. "You will. When you meet a real Viking with a real life to live, you'll be gone. And I want that for you -"

"-Hiccup - "

She reached out for him, but the boy scrabbled away from her, nearly backing up into the straight stone face on the other side of the fire.

"No, really, I mean it. I want you to be happy, but that doesn't mean I can just sit here and -"

He weakly smacked the solid rock wall with his fist, before pressing his face against it.

"When did you start thinking like this?"

"When I wanted to have my father talk to yours. About something... you know, permanent."

"Ah."

"It was about a year ago."

Astrid waited.

"I wanted to get you excited about the prospect of being stuck with me, so I started thinking up all the things we could do if we were really together." Hiccup walked away from the wall, and back towards the fire again. Astrid continued to follow at a safe distance. "And after I thought about flying into adventures, trying out new inventions, and talking for hours on end... I couldn't come up with anything."

Turning and propping himself into a standing position up against a rock, Hiccup stared into the fire.

"I can't go for long walks anymore. Can't get out of low stools or bathing tubs without aid. Any joint I create for my foot inevitably freezes up in winter. And to make matters worse Gobber told me that people who lose their leg die early because they become more accident prone. If you can't always count on your balance, kitchen fires and stairs become deadly... not to mention working in a forge."

Slowly Astrid made her way around the fire, watching the pain on her boy's face as she got closer to him.

"In another 2 years, the chances are good I could be dead. Or completely useless. And if I'm useless, I couldn't survive you calling the village into our bed to announce our separation." **[12]**

"But if we're not together, you can pretend to go on with your life and try to tell yourself that your feelings don't matter."

Hiccup finally looked at her again, nodding miserably.

"When were you going to let me make a choice in all of this?"

"If we negotiated this, you'd go for trying things out anyway. And you'd win because it's... well, you."

"Got that right." Astrid said, proudly.

"But if you just go with what you want, you'll be setting yourself up for a difficult life."

"I'd rather have a difficult life with you than an easier one without you. When you were..." Astrid was surprised to find herself choking up, the sudden image of Hiccup damaged in his father's arms felt like it was choking her.

She ran a hand through her bangs, and summoned her guts. "When you were pulled from Toothless after the fire died down, I saw your leg. I had gotten right to the front of the crowd. You only had three toes left. Everything up to your ankle was a shredded mass of scorched bone and muscle. Most of your foot was already long gone. I knew you'd never be the same again, but I didn't care. I was just thanking the gods that I didn't have to live without you."

Hiccup's face was surprised. Astrid knew she hadn't told him anything about this. But with the way she had treated him after the fact, she thought her feelings had been obvious.

Her heart leapt as he cautiously reached out a hand to touch her. But before his fingers reached her shoulder he stopped. With a sad and thoughtful expression, he pulled his hand and himself away.

"If you knew what the rest of me looked like right now, you might rethink that 'glad to be alive' remark. It's not exactly pretty."

"The only reason I haven't seen it is because you refused to show me."

"Because I don't want you running to the hills!"

"I thought you were trying to scare me off. So try and scare me off."

"I just," Hiccup got his hands away from clutching at the side of the head and gestured to his bad knee. "I don't want you to see this."

"And I don't want you thinking that 'this' is the only reason why we can't be together. What, do you think I'm just some... girl?"

"You're not just... well, you are, but not to... look. It's bad."

"How much pain are you in?"

"Not much. It's mostly sore if I overdo things. But it's just bad. I don't want anyone to see it."

"What are you hiding?

Hiccup just looked away.

Astrid was starting to get worried. If he had been able to hide something so obvious about hating the fact that he lost his leg, what mass of festering wounds were hidden under his pant cuff?

"Listen. If you prove to me you've got something seriously wrong with your bad leg... we might be able to talk."

"Talk instead of 'negotiate?'"

"...yes."

With a grim mouth, Hiccup nodded and began undoing the straps.

At one point Astrid saw him struggling to keep his balance, so she stepped up and gently put her arms around his waist. Hiccup blushed, but kept working.

They looked at each other's faces, fearing what was being uncovered below them.

Finally, awkwardly, Hiccup raised what was left of his left leg. Everything from above the knee down was covered in a sock.

He carefully peeled the sock off and looked over Astrid's shoulder, waiting for her answer.

Astrid looked down.

"Ow!" Hiccup yelped, "Why the Thor did you punch me again?"

"You are such a FAKER! You honestly had me thinking the rest of your leg was about to fall off! I mean look at this!"

Astrid was pulling up the pant cuff to reveal a smooth, unblemished stump. Her hand gentle ran over the skin, as if assessing a fine race horse.

"You don't have a single black and blue mark. It looks like it's healed flawlessly." Her fingers played with the faint line of scars that capped off the very end of the stump. By the look of Hiccup's face as she was doing it, the area was defiantly sensitive.

"It looks swollen!"

"They get like that after amputation. You can't exercise the muscles as well without the rest of the limb, and the fat shifts a little bit. But it's just the bit on the end! The rest of your leg is... well, look at it."

"You are not going to pretend this doesn't look bad."

"You don't know what bad looks like. Mom got sores on the end of her stump. Sometimes her entire arm sometimes looked like it had gone up against a Gronkle. When it really got bad she'd spend time in bed to heal up. I remember the phantom pains making her feel like fingers she no longer had were being twisted off. You don't have a mark on you! You could have been born this way! It doesn't even feel that cold to the touch, so your blood must know how to flow around the flesh. Who heals this well?" **[13]**

Hiccup didn't answer, but Astrid didn't hear his lack of response. Her hands kept gently traveling over the skin. It felt so good to touch it. She'd had a dozen little fantasies about doing this to Hiccup in private... mostly what it would be like to be able to touch him... take care of him...

"How did you know how to take care of it? I helped Mom when she first lost her arm, but we had so much trouble keeping it clean."

"Well, I- er, I -" Hiccup stammered. "It's just... that... will you stop that?"

Astrid stopped rubbing his leg, even though she kept her hand where it was.

"Gobber helped me. I needed to be doing something when I wasn't flying with Toothless. It was getting a little claustrophobic walking around the village. So he let me keep working at the forge. He got me a chair so I could work while my leg healed. He talked about all the things he'd done wrong, and what I should do to heal up."

"Wish he had helped Mom and me." Astrid said, going back to rubbing her boy's leg, "Course he did get injured about the same time mom did. Maybe I should talk to him when we get back. I just can believe how healthy your skin feels."

Hiccup's face looked like it wasn't sure what it should do. "What about the red marks above the knee?

Astrid pulled up the cuff to examine. "You've only got those because you're setting the straps too tightly."

"If I attached them loosely, my leg would fall off!"

"Not necessarily. If you attached them higher, that might help." Astrid said this not because of personal experience, but because she wanted to rub at Hiccup's thigh. A ruse he caught on to when her hand went a little too high.

The glare he gave her was rather funny, since she knew he couldn't back it up physically. But with emotions already high, Astrid picked her battles and moved her hand down to a more proper altitude.

"You've got nice thighs. I couldn't help myself."

"Great, now you're being the faker."

"Am not."

"I've got absolutely no muscle in them, it's like I'm standing on a pair of saplings below the waist."

"Saplings can bend in ways full-grown trees can't." To prove this, she wrapped his stump around her waist. This required the boy's hips to move in a way that would make most grown Viking's wince in pain. But he looked comfortable, and amazed that the space perfectly encircled Astrid's waist.

"See?" Astrid told him, her gaze positively smoky, "FLEX-able."

The look in Hiccup's eyes had suddenly gotten glazed. His hands had drifted down to grab Astrid just below where his leg had ended up. And his fingers were brushing over the curve of her hip, slowly moving down.

"Do you like... flexible?"

Astrid brushed her nose against Hiccup's. The little groan she gave was unintentional, but said exactly what she wanted to say.

Hiccup suddenly lunged forward, mouth outstretched to capture Astrid's.

But Astrid's two fingers stopped him from reaching his destination. Noses still touching, Astrid looked at the boy in the eye.

"Wait." She murmured against her fingers.

"Hmmm?"

"We can't do this."

Hiccup jolted back. "What?"

Astrid wanted to start a fight. Don't like it when I'm touching you and pull away? Don't like it when the person you love gets this close to you then decides it's a bad thing? Join the club, buddy.

Instead, she said, "If we do you'll just try to be noble. Again. I'm getting ... frustrated by the whiplash."

"Frustrated?" Hiccup asked, almost entirely innocent.

Astrid planted one hand on the side of Hiccup's head and leaned forwards.

"I want to do things to you that would make Loki blush. And I have been thinking about doing those things for long enough that if you keep stopping so we can have a talk, I'm not going to be a happy camper."

"I'm... trying to avoid that at all costs."

"Good man. So let's try to get some basics resolved before I ride you into the ground."

"Yeah?" Hiccup asked, his eyes starting to glaze over.

"You might want to pay attention to this."

"Then you might want to stop rubbing, it's getting distracting."

Astrid reluctantly took the hand she'd let migrate off the boy's ass. "It was right there."

"Well, it usually is. Basics?"

" I don't want you to stop. Not unless you're seriously hurt or seriously uncomfortable. And I want to keep talking about why you've been feeling the ways you have. And I want to talk about the future afterwards."

"This isn't the way you're going to tell me goodbye, then?"

"Not in the least. What do you want?"

"I want to be with you."

"Good. Can we agree that after we get this out of our systems we'll talk about how we want to handle things?"

Hiccup was breathing heavily and leaning into her now. "That might take some time."

"Here's hoping."

"All right. I'll stay. I'll talk."

"After?" Astrid swallowed.

Hiccup weakly nodded. "After."

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Astrid and Hiccup work alot of things out of their collective systems...

* * *

**[11] **Sadly, for some people in Hiccup's condition, this isn't an unusual way to feel. Among amputees a sense of being so freakish that no one of their preferred sex will ever want to look at them again – let alone BE with them – is unfortunately prevalent. **See the Notes on my Profile for more info.**

**[12] **While Viking men decided how their household was run, Viking women had the power to say if the household existed at all. Unlike other women of the medieval era (and, sadly, millions in the present day) a Viking wife could divorce her husband as easily as he could divorce her. All she would have to do to make the divorce permanent was gather a group of people at the family house. She'd first announce on the threshold that she was leaving her husband. Then she would take the group of people in and make the announcement again at the foot of the couple's bed. Unless she had committed adultery, she was free to reclaim what was left of her dowry, any personal items, and full custody of the children. **See the notes on Viking Marriages on my Profile**

**[13]** You can get the majority of your health back after a leg is removed, but taking care of the stump is essential. Being unusually cool to the touch or having regular phantom limb pains - a result of neurons trying to cope with no longer having a full leg to feel - should be looked after. And keeping the area as clean and dry as possible is key to avoiding rashes, bed sores, or plain-old skin irritations after rubbing up against a prosthetic all day. **See the Notes on my Profile for more info.**


	6. Chapter 6

Without any need to discuss things further, Astrid deftly rolled the boy onto the ground, and re-straddled him.

Hiccup hissed with pain. "Is the violence going to be a standard when we're doing this, because -guh."

The 'guh' was due to the fact that Astrid had pulled her armored shirt over her head, and flung it aside.

She then attacked the ties to Hiccup's leggings - "Gods, I've been wanting to pull these off you all day..." - and shucking the fur-boot and leggings aside, Astrid began tugging Hiccup's tunic off.

"My leg's by your foot." Hiccup said, words muffled by the fabric.

Looking behind her, Astrid carefully nudged the device out of the range of destruction before she sent the tunic to join it.

"No, that's not what I... I wanted you to hand it to me."

"I'd like this better without any hardware." Astrid said, moving her hand down Hiccup's stomach, marveling at the shivering stomach muscles. "You look good with your leg off."

"Really?"

"Really." Astrid began placing light, quick kisses over the boy's trembling stomach. "Do you want to try something?"

"Maybe," he hissed as the next kiss came, "Maybe take off," another kiss another pause, "THIS."

Grabbing with both hands, he got a hold of the tight bindings underneath her armor that supported the girl's breasts and hid them from view.

Astrid sat up, reaching behind her to undo the lacing that held her into place. Leaning up with her, Hiccup kissed anywhere he could find of the hidden flesh.

"By the Gods," Astrid snarled, "It's not moving."

Hiccup blinked "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" he reached back behind her with both hands and began clawing at the laces. "What did you do, sew yourself in?"

"It's more stable than just pulling it on."

"What about when you take it off at night?"

"I don't usually. It's comfortable! And it's not like I have to remove it until Wash Day. **[13] **"

"Oh for the Gods," Hiccup said, wearily planting his face in her cleavage, "This can't be happening."

"Just a second," After a moment's fiddling at her ankle, Astrid gently pushed Hiccup away. She slipped the blade of her knife between her breasts and tried to cut the garment away. The top portion fell easily, but the lower defenses remained in tact. She snorted in frustration and re-aimed the blade for a second attack.

"No, wait." Gently, almost reverently, Hiccup touched her. Using the new slack to slip the thick straps off her shoulders, he gently pushed the support garment down to her waist and lovingly ran his hands up to cup her and feel her.

Astrid carefully kissed him about the ears and ran her hands over every stand of hair she could get her hands on. Moaning, he very slowly, very softly, kissed his way up her breast back to her lips. He took the time to linger over every little piece of flesh, the rise of each bone under the skin, even as his hands touched her, played with her.

When his lips finally returned to hers, it sent Astrid's skin tingling and shivering in ways she thought she'd had forgotten an age ago. As she leaned in for another, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders as the other began cupping and playing with her newly exposed flesh.

Sparks were firing in her spine and pooling in her belly, re-stoking coals that should have gone out. She couldn't stop touching him. Holding him. Clutching at him.

"Tell me... you're not going to stop..." she said, through kisses.

"Nuh... nuh..." he said, shaking his head and kissing her back.

The heat they were generating was quickly fighting off the night air. They were dripping in sweat now, rolling on the gravel-covered earth, playfully jockeying for a position on top. Hiccup managed to get an advantage for a second, planting his face between her breasts and licking and sucking her skin as his hands dove under her skirt.

She waited until his hands freed the linen briefs she was wearing before she rolled him onto his back.

"I told you I'd ride you." she told him, carefully laying his head back on the floor of the cave. He looked back at her, stunned, happy, and more than a little nervous. He gasped as she used her feet to shimmy his loincloth off him, leaving him lying bare on the cave floor.

"I can't believe you want me this much." Hiccup whispered.

"I can't believe I'm finally going to have you." Astrid pressed her face into his chest as her hands teased lower, and lower... "I've wanted you for an age."

When she finally reached under her armored skirt to grasp the... cudgel, she had to stop for a minute. It wasn't an 'elephant's trunk' **[14]** by any means... but it was substantial enough to get her seriously concerned. Would that even fit inside of her without ripping her apart?

"Astrid?"

"You should know, I haven't done anything like this before."

"N-neither have I."

Astrid sat up, thinking. "We might have to try this from a couple angles."

"It's not..." Hiccup said, "I mean, I didn't think it would be that difficult to get a... decent angle."

It took Astrid a minute to place his discomfort. He was worried. Of course. All Viking men were preoccupied with the size of their...cudgels. **[15] **Astrid fought from rolling her eyes. "It's not that... we've got a problem in the... other direction."

"Oh." Hiccup had to think for a second, then "Oh!" then, annoyingly, and with his version of a lecherous grin, "Ohhh..."

Astrid slapped her face against her palm. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"If you wanted to say it another way..."

"I wasn't trying to compliment you! I was trying to see what angle we could do this from where it wouldn't hurt like the blazes."

Hiccup suddenly snapped out of it. "It couldn't be that bad, could it? This stuff happens all the time."

"So does childbirth. Everyone knows THAT'S a pain-free process." she started looking around, "If half the things my mother and her friends say is true, I might need something to bite down on."

"Now wait, wait..." Hiccup said, thinking quickly. "Maybe we could start with the angle thing first. Would it help if I started like this...?" he rolled Astrid over onto her back, situating himself between her legs. "Then, we could roll you back once things started."

"That is tempting." Astrid did like the feeling of the boy on top of her, "But you'd have to keep pushing down, even if it was really starting to hurt. Could you keep doing that, even if you knew I was in pain?"

Hiccup looked like he didn't even like thinking about it. "We're not doing this tonight, are we?"

"I never said that!"

"You said there would be pain involved." Hiccup protested as he sat up.

"It's your fault for being built."

"Don't try to change the..." Hiccup paused. Then flushed. "Er... could you just say that one more time?"

"Look," Astrid said, sitting up herself, "I just need something to hold onto. I can do the heavy lifting myself if I've got that."

"We don't have one," Hiccup said, looking around the mostly barren rock floor, "and even if we did, I'd rather be the one helping you."

Touched, Astrid began playing with Hiccup's bad knee as she gazed at him, lovingly. When the leg tensed, then jerked underneath her hand, she realized what she was rubbing. She looked down.

"Oh no. No, no no."

"Why not?"

"If you go biting down on that thing, I'll be recovering for a month. And then I'll have to explain where I got the teeth marks..."

"By 'that thing', do you mean your leg?"

"It's not a leg anymore."

"It's a leg. And it's a leg that's just long enough - "Astrid pulled the leg straight and hugged it, "to work like this." She straddled him at a slight angle - one foot between his thighs, one foot touching just below his hipbones. Bending the stump back slightly she could seat herself and still have something to grab onto.

Astrid looked over her shoulder. "Do you see?"

Hiccup was watching the way she was sitting on his stomach - holding his leg, her breasts pushed against his inner thigh - with hooded eyes. "Yeah. That could... uh, work."

"If I have to bite, I'll bite low." Astrid said, as she kissed his knee.

"But that's... I mean it's..." Hiccup was suddenly swallowing hard, "OK."

Astrid's hands began running up and down the back of the leg, grabbing and rubbing his ass whenever she came across it. She would have to line herself up and drive herself home sooner or later, but this felt too good to rush. She ran her lower lip over his knee then lightly nibbled it.

Hiccup began making small, desperate noises behind her.

It was all for her. His desperate expression. His intense focus. The light brushes of his fingertips on the small of her back as he tried to reach far enough to touch her.

She wanted to know what he'd sound like in the middle of it all. She wanted to see if she could make him scream.

"I need you," she told him, then almost winced at how weird it sounded. 'I need you'? Was she some hormonal, mainland concubine? **[16]** "To help me." she added, quickly. It was true enough.

It felt like she was grabbing a freshly-cooled iron rod as she grasped the cudgel beneath her. Touching Hiccup there made something twist in her stomach and light up her body like a mead hall fire. She tried to stop the desperate groan before Hiccup could hear it, but didn't quite manage.

"Gods, are you OK?" Hiccup gasped.

"I'm fine. Haven't started yet." Brushing the very tip of the rod against her own opening, she looked over her shoulder, "Can... can you feel me?"

"Yes," suddenly scared, Hiccup said, "Astrid... it's only been you. Even after this... it will only ever be you."

The way he said it felt so right. All Astrid could reply was, "Good." before she lowered herself down.

By the Gods, it hurt! She was thankful Hiccup had lent her his bad leg, because she feared she could have done him serious harm if she had been able to reach his face. Even inch she gained, her body was screaming at the cruel and unusual treatment. It hurt worse than any battle wound or monthly pain that she had ever experienced.

But only for a moment.

When she was finally seated, panting and sweating like she had just wrestled a Monstrous Nightmare to the ground, she realized Hiccup had curled his knee down... putting pressure right over where she had found a handhold. He had tried to help her.

"-strid? Astrid?"

"I'm fine."

"You were screaming..."

"It hurt." It still did, but the pain was more of an annoying cramp now, "I'm fine. Really."

But Hiccup, Hiccup who she couldn't remember even personally hurting a fish he was going to feed Toothless, looked disgusted with himself.

"I couldn't have done it without your help." she pointed out, rubbing his bad leg.

"If I really wanted to help you out, I would have stopped myself." Hiccup said, "I wouldn't have agreed to it."

"Either you would have agreed to it, or I would have had to send you back home in pieces." Astrid tried to raise herself up off the iron, but her body suddenly went from aching and angry at the intrusion to... mildly interested in the friction. She pushed herself back down.

"You only had a hand axe. Don't you think that would have taken a wh-while?"

"Don't..." Astrid was moving up and down now, slowly. Trying to test out how her body reacted. But the more she moved the quicker the pain dissolved away. "Underestimate..."

And suddenly there was no need to argue.

"Oh!" Quickly wrapping her arms around Hiccup's leg once again, Astrid began rocking her hips furiously. Intense pleasure came with every rock, and a tingling feeling was racing down her spine. Her entire body was suddenly nothing more than a machine designed to keep her moving. Everything was focused on her center. How to get more. How to get it faster. "By the Gods!"

"Astrid..." Hiccup moaned.

"Oh Hiccup. Hiccup you feel..."

Wonderful was a bit of an understatement. So was fantastic. To finally be joined with the boy was a pleasure too big for words. She felt like she'd die if she continued. She felt like she'd die if she'd stop.

She also wanted to clock him one for putting this off for so long.

Why had she not crawled into Hiccup's bed and started doing this the day after he regained consciousness? She wanted to chain the boy to her bed so she could do this to him every morning. She wanted to hold him close and kiss him a thousand times for finally giving this to her.

He was hers. That was all there was to it. She had understood it before this, but finally being with him made it permanent. Solid. The red, panting face? Hers. The lips that he bit nervously when asking her a question? Hers. His body? Definitely hers.

Oh Gods, there was nothing even close to a Viking in Hiccup's body, but it drove her wild. The thin waist was perfect for wrapping her legs around. His ass was a work of art. She wanted to explore every inch of his torso with her tounge. Even with one of his legs reduced, the set was indescribable. In a lesser man, she wouldn't have taken notice, but with Hiccup in control, she saw potential. She saw lust.

And as she kept riding and clutching, she started to realize something else. The horizon of desire was starting to come to a point. She was getting closer, inevitably closer, to tumbling over the apex of that unstoppable cliff. Oh Gods, how long had she wanted it? She need it. She began to rock faster... and faster.. and...

"Stop! Wait!" Hiccup yelped, "I almost... I nearly... Oh Gods, not yet..." [17]

Then his body tensed, eyes rolling back in his head, as his hands performed futile scraping along the ground, before he collapsed against the ground. After a moment or two, Hiccup returned to his own mind, and winced.

"Oh Gods..."

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Hiccup apologizes in the best way possible, and Astrid agrees to an experiment.

* * *

**[13]** The Viking stereotype of an unkempt race of stinky he-men (and women) was actually far from the case. Viking's typically had one weekly bath on "Laugardagur" or "Wash Day" every Saturday. Not an easy feat for a people who typically settled in sub-zero climates. And although this still seems few and far between for modern tastes, the Vikings were the Mr. Cleans of their day. It's said that Vikings who settled in Northern England were considered "excessively clean" by their Native-English neighbors, who'd often bath between once a week and once a year.

**[14] **Modern-day Norwegian slang for a guy with a huge... plot of land.

**[15]** Viking men were very concerned with 'size.' Whether that was due to machismo, fertility, or a combo of the two is unknown. But in some of their epics, 'size' is discussed in almost ridiculous detail. A particularly telling passage involves a great hero arguing with a saucy barmaid that the fact that his 'berries' are oversized makes up for the fact that his 'twig' could only be seen via microscope. (No, really.) In fact, research has found that Vikings actually wore belts with certain bulges to show off what they didn't have. Sort of a Wonderbra in your pants.

**[16]** As you'd suspect with a society whose day-jobs are looting and pillaging, Viking culture had a ready supply of slaves. And with the high mortality rate, they also had women who were single by sheer mathematics or unfortunate circumstances. Some women chose to improve their status by becoming concubines for already-married men. However, once you were taken on as a concubine, you were essentially seen as a plaything- no concubine could become the mistress of the household. Berk seems to be separated from this particular tradition. Namely because no woman in the movie is wearing the traditional headdress that designated her as the wife of the family. A designation you'd need to make if there were multiple women running around for one husband. However, much like Red and Blue states in the US, Berk is well acquainted with the improprieties of other states in their nation and happy to badmouth them behind their backs.

[17] If you're enough of a pervert and want to hear what this would actually sound like, there's a link. No, really. You see, the red-band trailer for the movie 'She's Out of My League' has Hiccup's Voice Actor, Jay Baruchel, playing the moodle "Kirk Kettner" who gets so worked up about a hot blonde straddling him and doing things to his neck that he... well, the clip speaks for itself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dang. When I try to keep the author's notes to a minimum, total confusion erupts. **

**And right when the story switches over to NC-17. Not good.**

**OK. Before we find out Astrid's reaction to last week's unfortunate finish, let me clear up some things that should have been in last week's author's note.**

**I got Gobber's name in Chapter 5 totally wrong, and corrected it about the same time Chapter 6 went up. It was also corrected for all future posts. Please put the wet noodles away, I've turned in my fangirl badge. (grin)**

**Also, for anyone who didn't notice the rating change: Yes, the story will be NC-17 or M from here on out. I did post a few warnings, including one in the introduction of the first chapter, but not on the switch-over chapter itself. And from some of the reviews, I see that caused some confusion. **

**Smut will not dominate EVERY part of the rest of the story. There will be plot, character development, and all those things that I hate to see take a back seat when uglys start bumping. But from here on out, the only G-Rated chapter will be the Epilogue. Consider yourself warned, and break out the smelling salts if you dare to venture further.**

**Also, remember that if you create fanart for this story and post in on deviantArt, I'll write you a short-short story of your choosing. We've already got two people tenitively on-board, and links will follow as soon as I get them. If you want to know more about this swap, drop me a line through FF or find me on Twitter at LiosFicTwit. **

**Subscribing to my Twitter Feed might not be a bad idea either. My subscribers knew in advance that this week's post would be a day early...**

**I think that's it. Everybody good? Then let's rejoin our pair, still in the awkward state we left them...**

* * *

If it had been anyone else, she would have been furious and the punching would have started. But Hiccup was doing a far better job beating himself up.

"I couldn't help myself! I wanted to wait but it felt so... Gods, you felt so... well..." Hiccup managed to find enough blood to blush.

She tried to take up the motion again, but there simply wasn't anything there. He had faded away. Her disappointed center made the rest of her body feel like a throbbing, burning wound. And she couldn't think of anything to soothe it.

More than a little disappointed, Astrid released his leg and dismounted.

Hiccup refused to take the space she offered, and wearily got up on his elbows, leaned forward, and held her as he kissed her. "I'm sorry."

And he was scared. His hands were moving over her forearms like he was coddling a skittish beast. His face was a mask of loss. He clearly thought she was going to run for the hills after his little mess-up.

"I can wait until you recover." Astrid said, "If you keep me warm."

Gently pulling her into his shaking arms, Hiccup rolled them onto their sides.

He didn't stop kissing her. His hands were closing, gentle but possessive, around her shoulders before feeling their way down her back. The nearby fire was close to Astrid's back, but not uncomfortably so. And Hiccup's hand was guarding her hair from the flames.

When he broke to get feeling back in his lips, he rubbed noses with her with a devotion that made her long for a second time. Made her long to ride him face to face, bobbing up and down in time. Kissing and holding and loving, even as their bodies ravaged each other.

Snaking an arm around his neck, Astrid pulled Hiccup in for a tight embrace, even as she threw a leg over his hip and her other hand began playing with the skin on his back.

Which one of them was making that desperate whimpering noise?

Hiccup pulled away just far enough to nuzzle her again. "OK?"

Oh. Was that her?

"Mmm-hmm." She snuggled into his embrace, pressing her face into his chest. Snuggled? Had she just, honestly, snuggled?

Well, at least the payoff was worth it. Hiccup was pushing the increasingly matted braid of hair off her shoulder, and was gently kissing the crook of her neck. Then his lips slowly traveled up the peek of her shoulder, then down again and into the cavern of her ear. His hands never stopped touching her, but when they found a part of her body that was too warm, they pulled her in closer.

Hiccup was gently nudging her with his hips as they held each other, rubbing their bodies together. It was clear from the lack of interest between his legs that he hadn't yet recovered and was just trying to 'keep her warm' until he did. But even that gesture was sweet. His hands were still checking her skin for hot spots. She felt safe wrapped up in his arms. Treasured. Loved. She didn't know if she wanted to encourage him to try again, or just bask in the touch of his skin.

And, even though she hated the feeling of being pinned down in the ring, she suddenly longed to feel his weight on top of her.

Very slowly, she maneuvered Hiccup on top of her as she rolled onto her back. The weight didn't exactly make it easier to breathe, and she wasn't quite sure what to do with her feet. But the weight was definitely comforting and she didn't want to move.

"Astrid... Uh... would you like... I mean, this way?"

"Not yet. I guess I just wanted to hold you."

"Hey," the smile he gave her was sweet and touched. "Nothing wrong with that."

He kissed her lightly, in the sweet way that always made her want to ride him into the ground. The impulse was still there, but also the sensation of wanting their connection to continue. Just holding her boy made her feel relaxed, complete.

He pulled away from a long, slow kiss where their lips had barely touched.

"Astrid?" he whispered in her ear.

She shivered. "Hmm?"

"Would you mind if I tried something?"

Astrid would have never guessed in a million ages those exact words would cross the threshold of Hiccup's lips.

"What do you want to try?"

Hiccup flushed adorably red.

"Oh, I've got to hear this..." Astrid grinned.

"It's not like... OK, maybe it is kind of like that, but..."

"Hmm?"

Astrid was happily stretching in place. Which caused her breasts to rise and fall in a way that instantly caught the boy's eyes. And fingers. And lips.

The fact that Hiccup completely lost his train of thought soon afterwards was beyond flattering. Astrid pushed her arms behind her head and enjoyed herself.

"You know, you can try that any - mmm - anytime." She told Hiccup as she watched him.

"Oh. Sorry, that wasn't it."

"Mmm?"

"I want to see how sensitive you are..."

Astrid waited.

"You know... there..." Hiccup muttered.

"All right," Astrid said.

"It's nothing that's... I mean, I want to make sure you're not seriously hurt -"

"All right."

"-and if there's a way we can get you where you need to go faster, we can always-"

"Hiccup!"

"Y-yes?"

"I said 'All Right.'"

And just when she thought he couldn't blush any more. "Oh. O-OK."

Unsteady, uncertain, Hiccup leaned down to kiss Astrid on the cheek as his hand started jerkily travelling lower on her belly. Grabbing him under his chin, Astrid pulled Hiccup's mouth to her. Encouraged, albeit slightly distracted, Hiccup lingered briefly on one of Astrid's hipbones before driving to the source. At first he just rested his hand on her entrance, more interested in tasting her tongue and teeth. But as his lips left hers, his fingers made their move.

"How's?" Hiccup asked.

"Fine."

Hiccup started to withdrawal his invitation.

"I didn't say stop." Astrid said, with a quick, brief kiss.

"No, I didn't want to... I just thought I was rushing the gun. I figured I'd start at the beginning."

"There isn't really a beginning, though."

"Can I just try this?" Hiccup asked.

"Mmm."

Hiccup kissed her quite fiercely as he returned, touching her lightly in every external crevice.

"Any-" Kiss. "-sensitive-" Kiss. "-areas?"

"Nnn-nnn." Astrid purred as she rose up to kiss the boy.

He re-entered the cave, concentrating on the floor and the walls, and slowly exploring inward. When three of his five soldiers were entrenched, he brushed a kiss against her forehead. "Now?"

"Little sore." Astrid said, "But nice. How's your recovery?"

"Oh, you know." Hiccup said as he started exploring the ceiling of the cave. "The usual."

He moved down to place gentle kisses on her neck as he moved back to the mouth of the cave. When his fingers came across a strange formation, he realized Astrid had twitched.

"There?"

"A little strange. Sensitive. Makes me feel like I drank too much mead."

He moved his fingers away. "And now?"

"Nothing now."

As his men crawled out of the cave, Astrid gasped.

"Yes?"

"Yes." she panted.

"Where?" He felt around on the path he had just taken until Astrid gasped again. Sitting up he scooted down and lifted up the heavily armored skirt she was still wearing.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to see what's happening."

He was examining the landscape with a face similar to the one he wore when a mild calibration needed to be made, but he wasn't quite sure what direction to make it in. He rubbed here and there, making adjustments to the sound of Astrid's moans or sighs.

"So that's it. There's this little... Thing. It's a little bump. It's about the size of a... well, maybe a little smaller than that. But when you move it like this..."

Astrid's legs opened wide as her hips began rocking against the ground.

"Does it really feel that good?"

Astrid just moaned.

"I- I like making you feel... er... you know."

"Mmm." Astrid said, reaching her arms up over her head and STRETCHing, "Don't stop, then."

It took a moment for Hiccup's brain to restart. But once it did, it was testing the tenacity of the... thing.

Astrid was having a blast. Rubbing was good, rocking was better. Although pinching did come in at a respectable 3rd place. Alternating between the three did wonders.

"Rock it, rock it like... oh Freya... may I ... Could you... Yes... yes, that's just... YES!"

"Could they connect?" Hiccup was muttering as he pushed the thing all the way to the left then all the way to the right.

"OH yes, just a little more... like... By Odin, PLEASE."

"Switch things around?"

"No. HARDER. Rub it HARDER."

Being touched took away a great deal of Astrid's reserve. She could tell Hiccup liked watching her lose her reserve.

"Oh Gods. Oh GODS!"

She was rocking her hips, scooting down a little with every rock. Hiccup gaped at her sweaty determination, uncertain.

"Is there something else I should do?"

"Don't know. Don't stop. Oh Gods, oh GODS, GODS, GODS. Don't STOP."

Still trying to be encouraging, Hiccup kept rubbing as he leaned down and gently kissed the rise of Astrid's hip bone. That ignited something inside her, and her whole body tightened as pleasure shot throught her veins. She gave several wordless cries, as her hips kept rocking frantically trying to urge the wave of pleasure on. Astrid grabbed the back of his head as she screeched, "HiccupHiccupHiccup - AHHH."

When the pleasure stopped, Astrid fell back onto the floor. She was sweating and panting as if she'd run a mile.

"Mmm..." she whimpered, pathetically, "Nhh... Mmmm."

"Wow. That was..." Hiccup swallowed, "Er... just... Wow."

"Yes."

"I'd like to... I'd like to do that again." Hiccup whispered, still lightly playing with the... thing, "Can we do that again?"

Astrid's grin was decidedly goofy then. It felt a little sensitive, but it wasn't going to fall off is she let him play with it. And she definitely wanted to feel like THAT again... "All right."

"I think I might have a theory about why that other... thing felt weird before."

"Test it out, then."

"I mean, if certain muscles connect to other parts of the - "

"Hiccup." Astrid said, trying for an order but picking up a beg on the way home, "TOUCH me NOW."

Hiccup grinned as he leaned down to kiss her lips, placing his hand with utmost tenderness on her stomach. He chuckled against her lips as the skin on her stomach jumped.

"That is nice." Hiccup said, his fingers moving up to trace circles around her belly button, "I wondered why you kept playing with my stomach."

"I like your face when I'm playing with your stomach," Astrid told him.

"Yeah?"

"You just look so... nervous. Awed. READY."

"You too. But I like your voice more."

"Mmm?"

"I like that you demand what you want. I'll never have to wonder if I'm doing something right."

His fingers dipped down and found the 'thing' they'd played with before. Astrid gave a low, lazy, moan.

"Yeah." Hiccup whispered.

Astrid's hand followed Hiccup's arm down, petting the hand that was playing with her as she kissed him. Then she slowly touched his arm higher and higher until she was rubbing his neck and shoulders. Looping one arm behind his neck, her fingers started dancing down his chest. Over his stomach...

"Woah!" Hiccup yelped, "Woah, woah, woah, woah..."

"What? That doesn't feel..?"

"It feels a little too... that." Hiccup swallowed hard, "I don't want to overshoot the stag this time, but whenever you touch me I just want to..."

"Should I just stop kissing you, then?"

"No. No, I don't ever want you to stop kissing me."

Astrid felt warm and squishy in a way never seen by Viking-dom.

"I mean..." Hiccup said, trying to explain, "That is..."

"I got it."

"Your face has this goofy look on it..."

"Get back to experimenting Mr. Thorough."

Hiccup actually did start touching her like he was looking for something then. Before he'd been clearly distracted. Astrid had been distracted. There had been happy distractions all round. But if he proved or disprove whatever theory he had, they could move onto other topics. He rubbed slow circles on the road around the thing and the valley surrounding it.

"What are you looking for, exactly?" Astrid asked.

"I didn't know if the feelings... er.. sensations... movement..."

"Pleasure."

Hiccup swallowed hard again, "Pleasure... was coming from the... thing or something else. The way it's attached, it almost seems like there's a vein or something beneath it."

"Fine. But after this, can I push you up against a boulder and ride you again?"

Hiccup suddenly looked away. He pushed out a series of deep, quick breaths. Astrid could have sworn she heard him say 'keep it together...'

"You are way too easy to tease." Astrid grinned into Hiccup's ear. She pulled back just enough so that when Hiccup looked at her, their noses were just about to touch. "Do you know how much I like teasing you? Hiccup." She pecked his lips. "Horrendous." Peck, as his hands kept exploring. "Hadd-"

And then suddenly pleasure like none she'd ever experienced shot up from her center and hit her brain with the impact of a war hammer. **[18]**

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY:** Astrid manages to hurt her foot. And somehow keep her boots on.

* * *

**[18] **I'd apologize for the lack of footnotes in this section, but I've got a feeling footnotes are the last thing on anyone's mind right now. (Bwahahaha.)


	8. Chapter 8

She was suddenly on the ground, back arching, eyes slammed shut, hands clutching her body as if holding onto herself would somehow break the overwhelming wave of mind-crushing glorious pleasure.

And then it suddenly stopped.

Hiccup was panting above her, and it took him more than a few moments to say, "I knew there was - " he stopped for a minute to cough and bring the pitch of his voice down. " - I knew there was a vein."

" W-what?"

"The way it's... uh gods, the way it's constructed. Only natural. S-so I figured there would have to be," Hiccup gasped, swallowing hard, "a supply of blood flowing to the - "

"Do it again."

"Just give me a- by Thor, is it hot in here?"

"Let me try." Astrid said putting her own hand on her center and feeling around for where Hiccup's fingers had been. "it was on the side?"

"Yeah, the side of the thing... the left.. sorry, it's on your right. It's on your right at the base of the... thing..." **[19]** Hiccup started breathing in short, quick breaths again. Astrid looked down at his... cudgel as she touched herself. By Freya, he was so worked up it had actually turned colors. It looked blue. Or was it more of a purple? Was that natural?

Perhaps she had better hurry.

She found the spot, and the pleasure shot through her body as it had before, but the blast was somehow less intense. She tried it from different angles, and tried pressures hard and soft. But it wasn't the same.

She wanted Hiccup's hand on her. She wanted Hiccup's body pressed against hers. And really, she could do nearly everything that they'd done tonight on her own. But without Hiccup, it just wasn't worth the time.

Of course, if she just rubbed a little, she could at least keep herself occupied until Hiccup stopped breathing heavily...

Oh Gods, that felt nice.

"I can't believe you're you even here..." Astrid happily babbled as she rediscovered the sites Hiccup had focused on moments before.

Hiccup was still breathing in little pants, but he answered, "You can't believe I'm me... here?"

"You know what I mean."

"Not really... "

"You're always thinking... testing things out..." Astrid told him, "And you figure things out that people who may have lived with them for years... for decades... never even considered."

She began lazily playing with the peek of one breast. It felt good. It felt better that Hiccup was watching her do it.

"You touch me and I feel struck by lightning. You think about how I look, and discover parts of me that I never knew existed. I can't think of anything you could do that wouldn't interest me or fascinate me. And no one else has ever..."

Hiccup was suddenly hovering over her on his hands and knees. His face was nothing but a solid block of need.

"Mmm." Astrid purred, "C'mere."

She treasured the fact that he still waited for her to approve before he moved. She kissed her thanks and grabbed his shoulders as she guided him to her.

The second penetration was far less painful than the first, although Astrid was still sore. But she loved the sensation. It felt like they were holding each other inside, closer than they'd ever been with anyone else. No one else had touched her this way. She was determined to make sure that no one else ever would.

It felt a little strange, the slow, sweet rocking of the boy on top of her. But she didn't try to flip them around. She wanted to see him take charge. Wanted to see how it would feel to have him grab the reigns.

But Hiccup seemed less than enthusiastic.

Granted, he hadn't exactly demanded to take the lead this time. And he was still moving against her. It just didn't seem like he was savoring the opportunity. Maybe with a little practice certain things would get easier for him...

"Gods, this isn't working."

Thank Freya he had said it first.

"I mean you feel... and I feel... and I do want... that. But I just don't like the way it..."

"You had no problem before," Astrid reasoned.

"Well, you were the woman in charge. I-I liked that."

Astrid took the opportunity to roll Hiccup over onto his back. "You like it like this."

Hiccup's face was positively blissful. "I-I... yeah."

"Tell me why." Astrid lowered her head to the boy's chest and began dropping low, soft kisses onto it.

"You know what you want."

Astrid Kissed.

"A-and you take it when it comes your way."

Astrid Kissed.

"And I... I love the way you look."

"When?"

"When you're on top of me. Rubbing against me. Just about to lose control. Clinging to me. Like I'm the only person left in the world for you. I want to see you lose control. With me."

Astrid's tounge happily defiled Hiccup's mouth, rewarding him for his answer. Hiccup moaned, sucking on it at it left his mouth.

"All right. You like my ideas?" She pointed to a set of boulders somewhat near to the heat of the fire. Both rounded bits of rock were pressed up against each other, one slightly lower than the other. "Move over that way."

She got to her feet. Hiccup tried to follow her, but as soon as he tried to stand up his balance shifted and he stumbled.

Astrid jumped forward and neatly caught him. But when she pulled back a bit she caught the look on his face. It was completely confused. Slightly awestruck. Stunned in so many ways.

"What's wrong?" Astrid asked, suddenly concerned she had broken the boy just as they were about to have fun, "What happened?"

"I... I forgot."

"Forgot?" Astrid was still trying to move in the direction of the boulders. It was hard with the boy hanging like dead weight in her arms.

"I forgot about my leg."

"I knew I was talented." Hiccup's good foot had finally caught a slippery patch of gravel and had gotten easier to drag. Astrid used it to pull Hiccup forward, until she realized he was clutching her arms.

"Astrid, you don't understand. I've never forgotten that I lost my leg. Not after all this time. I've had dreams about it every night. Even when it was healed and healthy," he added, miserably, "I never convinced myself I wasn't wearing a fake leg. It's always just been there."

"Good."

"G-g...?"

"I want to make you forget. Who you are isn t crippled or broken."

She sat Hiccup down on the lower of the two boulders and straddled him. She shimmied them both backwards until Hiccup's back was against the higher boulder.

"Do you feel this?" she asked

Astrid rose up, positioned herself, and sat down, nestling Hiccup's hardware deep inside her.

Hiccup's jaw dropped. Astrid thought she saw one of his eyes roll back into his head as he collapsed back onto the boulder. His head hit the rock a little too hard, causing a bounce and an 'Ow!' before he laid back again.

"Better?" she grinned

Hiccup made a sound that could have been pleasure, sarcasm, or pain. Possibly a combination.

"Good."

Before the rock sloped away and became two separate stones, there was a small foot-long ledge where they were currently sitting. Because of the angle of the ledge, Astrid plenty of room to rest her feet on the floor of the cave, but also gave Hiccup an interesting angle. With little effort on his part, he could push against her. Hard. Or he could relax into the shelf and enjoy what she did to him.

With a few little subtle nudges of her hips, she showed him this.

"Wow. I... like this."

"Mmm." Astrid wrapped her arms around Hiccup's head, and planted light kisses over his hair and forehead. But as she did, she felt two hands sneak around and grab her ass.

Ressiting the urge to giggle, Astrid began kissing the boy passionately. The angle on the rocks was perfect. They were quickly trying out different speeds, different angles, and going more than a little wild below the waist.

Hiccup was so intense. He may not have been able to match her blow for blow, but he used every opportunity to match her in kind.

But above it, they were holding each other close. The rocking below did knock them apart a few times, but it was easier to keep each other in each other's arms this way.

"Wait." Hiccup whimpered.

Astrid pounded both of her fists into the rock behind Hiccup's head. The rock was sprouting a sudden hairline fracture under each fists.

"No, not... I'm not going... Rgg... How... near are you?"

"Near?"

"To being... completely... and making that face with..." Hiccup was trying to say it, but he couldn't get the words out.

Astrid sympathized. All their lives they had heard adults use words that were more appropriate here. Fuck me. Make me come.

But even while doing the acts themselves, it didn't feel right yet saying them out loud.

"I'm on the road," Astrid told him, "but I can't see it in the distance."

"OK. Right. We need to change something. I'm enjoying this way too much."

"Isn't that the point?"

"No! Well, yes..." Hiccup flushed, "but I don't want to enjoy myself without you if I can help it."

"I don't mind too much. You make up for it later."

"I don't mind that either. But I at least want to try this time."

Astrid remembered. He'd said he wanted her to lose control with him. Odin knew how he was keeping a grip on himself considering how close he'd been earlier.

"What do you want to do to try?"

"Do you think we could..." he motioned with his hands, "Combine the two together?"

"The way you touched me and - "

"Yes." Hiccup wheezed.

"That should work. How do you want to start?"

"Well the boat is already in the dock. Let's try it from here."

Hiccup's fingers found out the lump and began stroking it. He played with it from the angles he already knew she liked. Thank the Gods she'd fallen in love with a boy who had half a brain.

Astrid's arms gently wrapped around Hiccup's shoulders and snuggled in as his fingers slipped down in the valley. He made a choking sounds as she flug herself against her, her hips thrusting desperately.

"NgHHHH!" Astrid squealed as her fists began slamming at the rock on either side of Hiccup's head. "Hih - Hih - Hih - HIH!"

And then he pushed her off.

Once again, Astrid found herself throbbing below the waist as she stared up at the ceiling. Her head had ended up resting against Hiccup's remaining foot.

"OH gods..." he was desperately panting, "Oh gods... that was too close..."

She looked between her legs. The cudgel was... leaking. The... stuff was viscous, and it surprised her. Somehow she'd thought it would be more like water.

Some of it was already... inside. Part of her boy was inside her.

She wanted to touch it, but Hiccup jerked away as he saw her hand approach. "Do that and I'll ... explode. There will be pieces of me all over the walls... By the GODS."

He was doing some quick, heavy breathing and he looked like someone had stuck a knife in his guts and was twisting it around.

She laid her head back on top the boy's foot. "It almost worked though."

"You were... there?"

"No, but I was racing down the road at enormous speed."

"I would have still been there 10 minutes ahead of you."

"Sure." she panted, "Make it a contest."

"There's no way you're going to catch up with me if the two of us are together," Hiccup whimpered, "It just feels... way too good."

"Maybe if I could get a head start..."

Hiccup's foot had been clumsily playing with her hair. It stopped.

"That could work."

"What?"

Hiccup touched her. Her head jerked and bounced off the boulder behind her.

"Ow! Oh t-AGHGH! Nih-nih-nih-nih!"

Hiccup had pushed himself a bit off his perch so his entire right hand was on her as his left hand balanced. His thumb was visiting her lump while his fingers explored her cave. She could feel them becoming soaked the further they reached inside her.

He still alternated back and forth. Lump then valley. Lump, then valley. Just when she thought one was starting to bring her closer, he would switch to the other. Just when she seemed to spy the peak of the mountain on a rise in the road, he drove her down a winding side road in the dark, sweet heart of the forest.

She didn't know if he was just trying to be thorough, or if he was truly trying to drive her mad.

He was breathing again, in those short little breaths that proved he was trying to hold off the inevitable.

"How... now?"

"Rub..." Astrid managed to get out before she heard her own throat make a sound like a wounded raven. She loved it when he did that thing with a pinch and a twist. How in Freya's name did he expect her to answer when he was doing that?

"Rub?"

"Just.. rub."

It wasn't as good or intense as the valley, but not being distracted by a pleasure so intense she was forced to convulse, she was able to notice the little things that were truly arousing. The look of Hiccup's hand against her skin as he touched her. The feel of his foot, still trying to rub the back of her head. The look in Hiccup's eyes.

The intensity in his glazed eyes was exciting. He denied himself for her. He was in agony for her. And he still wanted her. Wanted to see her screaming for him.

She wanted to scream for him. She wanted them to be locked together in every way possible as pleasure came as they conquered and claimed each other.

There was a heaviness building at the bottom of her stomach. A deep and increasingly desperate craving for more of everything that they had done earlier. The touch inside. The movement between each other. The edge was approaching the horizon with deliberate speed.

Closer. And closer. And then.

"Stop, wait." Astrid yelped

"N-now?"

"NOW."

His hands pulled her up into a sitting position desperately as they tried to reconvene. Her leg had managed to get wedged under her somewhere in the process, and there didn't seem to be much of a need to move it. And the angle seemed to improve.

Hiccup didn't stop touching her. He kept rubbing her, harder and harder, just like she had needed the first time. **[20]**

He was inside her. He was outside her. They were driving each other over the side of the cliff. At the far-distant borders of her mind, Astrid realized the rock on either side of Hiccup's head - the rock she was scrambling against in a desperate attempt to hold onto something, was not as sturdy as it had been.

It was a moment, maybe two, and she realized she was at the very edge of the cliff. There was a half-second where she felt weightless, and then she started a screaming trajectory down, down, down.

Pleasure that seemed so close to pain was shooting through every nerve ending she had. And all she could do was clutch at her boy and ride every gloriously agonizing second out.

And then, suddenly, it was over.

Both she and Hiccup had met somewhere in the middle of the crevice ledge. Panting, exhausted, and soaking wet with sweat, they were clinging to each other so hard there would be bruises.

It was the closest she'd ever been to a human being. She loved him so much it hurt.

Her foot was killing her.

But when she tried to pull it out from where it was wedged behind her, something about their balance on the ledge was compromised. Too tired to stop the slide in time, the both of them ended up on the gravel covered floor, with a collective 'Ooof!', still wrapped up in each other's arms.

Chuckling, Astrid just pulled Hiccup in closer. She didn't think she'd been this exhausted in her entire life...

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY:** Astrid finds reason to wish Hiccup's foot had stayed lost.

* * *

**[19]** If good smut wasn't enough, this Chapter's Footnotes come with instructions to please partners for fun and profit. If you're over 18, and have a girlfriend or lady companion that you are trying to impress... try this out. No matter what other disadvantages - or perceived disadvantages - you have as a boyfriend/girlfriend, do this technique correctly and often and you will be labeled a Sex God/Goddess. And there's a reason for that. See Footnote 20 for more details.

**[20] **While we're on the subject of education, there's another reason why Astrid is a lucky, lucky girl. She's got a boyfriend who takes the time to look at one of the most emotional parts of a romantic relationship pretty empirically.

An unfortunate number of people believe that traditional penetration should be enough to bring a woman to completion. While there are some women out there who can climax just by riding a disco stick, it's more the exception than the rule. A survey from the Hilde report showed only 26% of women have climaxed through penetration alone. Because guys have a more compact system, with the majority of their nerve endings easily accessible in one external 'cudgel', its harder for them to relate to this problem and harder still to ask for directions when they're first starting out. Modern sex advice shows and columns are littered with couples who don't understand this basic part of human physiology, and don't know why they aren't having fun in bed.

Fortunately, the old standbys of asking honest questions, giving honest answers, and experimenting goes a long way towards get around most misunderstandings and failures to communicate. **(And yes, there will be links about this on my profile sometime later today.)**


	9. Chapter 9

**There's almost nothing worse than building up your footnote links, then forgetting to put them up. I'll be busy with auditions for most of today, but expect links to go up sometime this evening.**

* * *

When she woke up, Astrid realized, she had never been more uncomfortable in her life.

The fire had died down considerably, thought - thank Freya - the ashes had not yet gone cold. But the rest of the cave had gone from comfortably toasty to pneumonia territory as they'd slept.

And she was covered in sweat, dirt, leaves, and other fluids from the both of them. There was all sorts of dirt ground into the open wound on her leg, though thankfully the blood had congealed some time ago.

The one warm spot in the room, the spot she was seriously arguing with herself to leave, was the connection between their two bodies. That place where their bellies were all but glued together still clung to some sweet shadow of the passion they had shared before.

Hiccup was sleeping unsteady and shivering beside her. His mouth was slightly open and he was drooling onto the cave floor beneath them.

All they were wearing between them was her boots.

She didn't think she'd felt this sticky in her life.

But with the boy huddled next to her, it was all worth it.

Trying to inspire her frozen muscles, Astrid wrapped her arms around the boy and pulled them both over to the blanket he had laid down earlier. After wrapping the boy up she reattached her skirt and reluctantly pulled the armored shirt over her head. Slightly warmer, she made several trips back and forth to the wood pile, gathering supplies to relight the fire.

Even dressed and doing something so basic as restarting the fire, Astrid felt different. She supposed she was so now. When they went back to the village, would the others be able to tell? Would their friends know what they had been doing? Would the married men and women?

She'd have to tell her mother first.

What, exactly, she'd tell her mother, Astrid didn't quite know yet. Mom hadn't been subtle about avoiding this scenario when talking to Hiccup. Mom hadn't gone for 'letting yourself get carried away' euphemisms or 'falling victim to your affection for each other' hints.

It was actually the third time she had ever heard her mother use the word 'fuck'. It had come right before the phrase "... the chieftain's son, and by all the Gods I will tan your hide until you can glow in the dark!"

If she had broken any other rule, she would have been certain she could have convinced her parents she had meant well. To make matters worse, she couldn't think of any honest explanation that wouldn't make what had happened sounded bad.

What could I do Mom? He was trying to reason with me and treat me like a lady, but I had to get my point across. So I kept jumping on him and demanding he do wicked things do me. Actually, it was more of a mutual thing. It's not like I didn't do things to him. I did wicked things to him. Over and over again... and the second I get another chance I'm going to do it again.

And that would lead to other questions. Can you ever forgive me? Can we still be married? How study are the posts of my bed? Do we have any strong rope?

Oh yeah. That would work.

The fire slowly started to catch. Astrid fed it with an extra handful of kindling and stacked the logs around it to help the air flow and feed the flames.

It wasn't even her mother's disapproval she was worried about. It was what that disapproval would stop her from doing. And if her mother decided to talk with Hiccup's father, how would Stoick take it? Would he see her as overstepping her boundaries? Being too eager for a son he had just started to like? Would he decide against asking her to join the Haddock family?

Hiccup muttered and turned over in his sleep. His Half-Legged side casting a strange silhouette under the blanket.

His leg. Where was his leg?

Astrid started picking up Hiccup's clothes wherever she could find them. There had been a pile of them at one time, and she'd pushed the leg in that direction, hadn't she? Tunic, leggings, vest, crater.

Crater?

There were two craters in the formerly smooth-surfaced boulder she'd ridden Hiccup against.

Suddenly Stoick's speech about being able to move mountains through sheer force of will came to the forefront of her mind. He'd spoken to Astrid about what his father had taught him of strength while they'd sat and watched Hiccup recover. She didn't know if he had done it because he needed to talk to someone or if he believed that she'd take to the lesson better than his son had.

Hiccup's leg was underfoot. She picked it up, touched one of the craters - almost to prove it was there- and moved back to the fire.

She placed the leg on top of the pile, and started gathering up Hiccup's other belongings. They had to get moving, and soon. The rest of the village rose early, and they had classes to teach, chores to complete and training to work on.

Not that Astrid felt like leaving.

She did have to check on Toothless, though. If she knew the dragon at all, he was still guarding the entrance of the cave so that no one could burst in or sneak out. Even if he did hate the cold, Toothless was still up there... protecting them. She felt like she was betraying the loyalty between her and the dragon by being down here now. Even if she had been trying to bring Hiccup back for both their sakes.

She hadn't exactly sacrificed much beyond her respectability down here.

She had to finish this. She had to make sure Hiccup was theirs again. Because if he pulled back now, she knew her heart would break.

"You know, if you keep staring at the wall like that, it'll be the one to wince first."

Astrid hadn't realized she was glaring up at the lip of the cave until Hiccup had spoken. And as she turned back, and saw the goofy smile the boy gave her as he lay curled up in the blanket, she suddenly didn't want to leave the cave at all.

"Warm?" she asked, kneeling down.

"Could be warmer." He pushed aside enough of the blanket that his arms were free and he wrapped Astrid up in them. Then he gently pulled her down to be on the ground with him.

Astrid tried to fight it. No, really.

She didn't want to get wrapped up in arms and legs that only wanted her and that wrapped around her and sweetly as fire smoke. Certainly not.

"Mmm..." she said, crawling into his arms and kissing him back, "We really should... should... mmm... something,"

"Which... something?"

"Mmm? ... Mmm... go back to the village."

Hiccup snorted and kissed her harder.

It wasn't going to work. Nope. Nope. No.

"It's almost... mmm... light..."

"Yes... could stay here... all day..."

She wasn't straddling his legs. Nope. Just getting at a better angle to plan her counter-attack.

"You keep... me... warm." Hiccup sounded a little awestruck of the fact, but Astrid could have sworn, He nearly... purred. Well, growled happily. Like Toothless.

She really needed to get them out of this cave before she ended up lying on top of the boy and happily shoving her tongue down his throat...

...like she was doing now.

All right. She'd given in. It was only a minor distraction.

At least until Hiccup rolled her onto her back and began pulling her shirt off.

She helped him out, because with the major distractions, it's best to focus on them long enough to get rid of them. Plus, she needed her hands free to grab his ass.

Hiccup jumped, then chuckled. "You keep doing that."

Astrid tried to slide backwards and out from under him. "I like doing that."

He slid forward, hovering over her again.

"What else do you... " He had started going for suave, but Hiccup being Hiccup, his voice broke and became uncertain when he got to, "like?"

Astrid had to bite her lip to stop from giggling, and she slowly slid back again.

Hiccup covered her again.

Astrid slid back.

If they had ever reached the back wall she would have been completely, happily lost. But the gravel underneath her hand shifted. She stumbled backwards and before she could catch herself her head hit something very solid. **[21]**

"What was that?" Hiccup asked

Astrid clutched at her head with one hand, then felt behind the back of her head.

She pulled out Hiccup's leg.

"I don't think it likes me."

Hiccup's hand covered his eyes and pulled down to cover his mouth. "The gods do hate me, I can't believe this."

"No, this is good. We need not to be distracted for a few minutes."

"I wasn't that distracting."

"You were plenty distracting." Astrid said.

"But I could keep being distracting, though, right?"

"Hiccup, we need to talk."

It looked like she had slapped him so hard his head ended up on backwards. It looked like his heart had detached form his chest, fell into his stomach and now all his veins were quickly filling with acid.

"W-what?" He whispered.

"You promised me you would afterwards..."

"After WHAT?"

"After we got it out of our systems?"

Hiccup was ready to argue, then he finally realized what she was talking about. "Oh. OH! Right, I did."

Astrid's eyes rolled so far, they might as well have gone back to Berk without her. "Odin's Beard."

"Hey, I made that promise when you were being plenty distracting."

"You made that promise when you were already going to..." Astrid stopped herself.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"No really, what?"

"You were already going to say to me..." Astrid made motions with her hands, demanding why he didn't get what she was trying to say.

"Say to you..." Thank the Gods Hiccup had perception, and a moment later and expression of sad realization crept over his face. "Oh. 'We Need To Talk?'"

She looked away from him. "At least now you know what it felt like, to hear that from someone you- "

Astrid didn't finish the angry sentence, her chest felt too tight.

A half-second later, Hiccup's arms were around her, pulling her in and holding her close. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Astrid. I really thought I'd just be hurting myself. Please don't cry."

"I'm not crying." Astrid ground out.

It took her a second to realize her face was uncomfortably wet, but she hadn't outright started to sob. It didn't count if your eyes started leaking but your face stayed Viking-stoic, did it?

Hiccup's arms pulled her in as tightly as they could, and he gently rocked her back and forth.

"I'm not a baby."

"I know." He said, nuzzling her.

He didn't stop rocking. He held her close, slowly stroking her back, and telling her with a thousand little gestures that he loved touching her, that he wanted to be with her, that he was sorry.

"I get why you punched me."

"Can I have my hatchet back, then?"

There was a second's pause in the rocking. Astrid could HEAR Hiccup frantically thinking.

"Er... weren't we going to talk?"

Astrid nuzzled underneath Hiccup's chin, gently stroking his arm as she pulled away.

"Is there anything else between us, Hiccup?"

"Mmm?"

"Any other reason you can think of why we can't be together?"

Hiccup grinned. "No."

"Anything about being together with me that you don't like?"

"Nothing."

Well, they'd talked.

"Good." Astrid smiled.

She reached out a hand to balance herself as she leaned in for a kiss.

And then Hiccup flinched.

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Astrid asks Hiccup to check his baggage.

* * *

**[21] **Picture a loud 'Ding' noise here. Like a dinner bell. Or the sound Rodger Rabbit makes when he runs into an ironing board. Only far less funny. ...What? Not many footnotes are needed to detail emotionally connecting the morning after. So sue me.


	10. Chapter 10

And as Hiccup awkwardly tried to move back, Astrid realized her hand had found his bad knee.

Astrid grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him anyway. After a moment she released him.

He still looked awkward. His eyes were focused on her lips even as his hands inched backwards.

"Do you think it will get any easier for you?" Astrid asked, taking her hand off of his knee.

"It's just sensitive. You said yourself that its healed."

Astrid brushed light fingers over the skin at the end of the stump. It was covered in fine gravel. Just like most of Hiccup and herself. It was still a little pale from the extremes of heat and cold it had been subjected to.

She tried to put her hand on top of it. He flinched again.

"I really don't like remembering it's there." Hiccup said, "Could you just... maybe... not?"

Astrid pulled her hand back. "You do know there's nothing about it that is going to put me off."

"... what do you think of when you touch it?"

There was a loaded question. Astrid had thought about many things as she had noticed the stump over the years. Not all of the things she thought of were exactly... good.

"Astrid. Please be honest."

"Fine. What did I see, or what do I see?"

"Both. Either. Something." Hiccup said, "But be honest."

"Honesty might take a while."

"I need to hear it anyway."

"Well. I used to see death."

Hiccup pulled away, Astrid used his stump to pull him back.

"You were out for three weeks after the battle." Astrid told him, looking away. "And I visited you a lot. And you were so still. You never moved. You were just as limp and lifeless as you had been when your father pulled you out of Toothless' embrace. The healer didn't know if your mind was still in shock or had gone to sleep. And even when I talked to you, you didn't respond."

Sighing, she ran a hand over the back of her neck before she continued.

"When things looked really bad I tried to tell myself it would be OK if you died. That you had finally become the person you'd always wanted to be, and that this way the village would always remember you as a hero. But it wasn't true. I could never make myself believe it. It only made me feel worse. So every time I visited you I tried to focus on your face and tell myself that you looked OK. That you'd be OK. But I'd see your leg eventually. I every time I did, I was scared you might die.

"And then, after that, I used to see pity."

Astrid stopped and looked up.

"Hiccup, do you want to start talking anywhere in here?"

"I'm good," he said. "Pity?"

"Not pity for you. You were back on your feet and walking around like nothing had happened. And we were feeling each other out. But each time I saw you walking away, I started pitying myself. If only you had been a nit to the right or left, you would have come out of it all unscathed. Why had the gods put that in my path? Why would they nudge you over one inch or the other and take away a complete sense of happiness?

"But after a few months passed, I started to become ashamed of myself. After you woke up... you weren't the same Hiccup. You were so confident. So precise. So solid in your thinking. It made me want to be around you. And the more I was around you the more I realized how many things about you I had overlooked. Chalked up to you just being weird. And the more I realized who you actually were, the more I fell for you. Like I said... I saw Hiccup the Useless when he was dragged back home by his father. And I may have admired and thought about Hiccup the Foolish who walked into the arena without any intention of attacking the dragon that was about to be sicced on him. But this Hiccup? This is the man I love. Without doubt or question. And he wouldn't exist if you had both of your legs."

Astrid placed both her hands on Hiccup's kneecaps. The twitch was less severe, but Hiccup was eyeing her, waiting for her to tell him something else.

"Then, since six months before you decided to go noble on me, whenever I saw your leg I see what I see today."

Astrid looked and Hiccup. He still seemed to be waiting for something.

She shrugged. "I told you being honest would take a while."

"But what do you see now?" Hiccup asked.

"I see us in bed..."

Hiccup swallowed.

"And it's morning. We're in our nightclothes and holding each other in our sleep. Sometimes Toothless is there, snoring just a little too loudly. We kiss when we wake up, no matter how bad our breath gets.

"Then as we realize the reasons we might actually need to get up, we start talking about what we need to do We start planning when we can spend some time together alone. Or, if our day is busy we start talking about how soon we will make it back home. There's some planning, scheming and complaining.

"But when we finally get up its always the same. You grab your leggings. I grab your leg. And after you have the leggings on, I help you attach your leg."

Breathing deeply, Astrid leaned forward and looked into Hiccup's eyes.

"I want to spend every morning for the rest of our lives reattaching your leg. I want to spend every evening taking it off and tending to it. I want you to feel comfortable with me touching you in places you don't like to think exist. And whenever you feel your stump shift inside your leg, I want you to remember I was the last person who touched it. I want this, not because still I pity you. Not because I think you need looking after. I want to do this so every time you take a step you think of me. Because everywhere I go, I do the same."

Hiccup looked at her, speechless.

She didn't think he even breathed for one moment, just sat there, sitting naked on the dirt floor of the cave, staring. He looked like he had just been blasted apart.

She held his gaze. "And I will not avoid any part of you."

He finally looked down. His bad leg had ended up on top of her crossed legs. It had automatically curled up, like a newly born infant trying to protect itself. He slowly ran a hand over his stump, one of the first times she had seen him touch it without a clinical hand.

He didn't want to touch it now, but he still treated it carefully. He touched himself gently, as if heavy handing of the skin would reopen the long-since healed line of scars across the base of it. He had said it was sensitive. But how much of the sensitivity was his desire not to touch it like he was doing now?

He stretched it out between them, then, with a slightly shaking hand, he took her hand by the wrist and placed it on his knee.

It couldn't be treated as a prop now. Or as an excuse. This wasn't a dare to scare her off. This wasn't a time to make a pass. It was in spirit what it was in flesh - a part of him stripped bare just for her.

She tried to move her hand against his skin but his hand hadn't stopped gripping her wrist. It hadn't stopped shaking either.

She waited patiently for him to let her wrist go.

And in time, he did.

He placed his hand over hers, though. Not putting any pressure on it, just resting on top of it as she touched his skin. In return, she touched him gently, carefully. She did not wander into more enticing areas. She just let her hand drift very gently and very slowly down to the end of the stump.

The skin there got a strange texture when it started to get goose-pimply. She couldn't help remembering the rest of Hiccup's skin reacting to the cold. His knee hesitated when she bent it back and forth. Was it his nerves, or was there something wrong with it?

Nerves most likely. The more she did it with careful rocking pressure the looser it became. He might have serious problems if he didn't tend to himself though. If he didn't know when to step back and call his Viking Stubbornness what it was.

The bulb of his knee fit perfectly in the palm of her hand. She reached behind it and gently picked the knee up with her hand behind the calf. Tens of thousands of mornings and evenings, looking at it from this view. Touching him before he left, or welcoming him to their rooms.

For the first time in so long it felt like a real possibility.

Still supporting it with one hand she took one hand and ran it, ever gentle, over the dome of the stump. His hand, which had ended up rest on his knee, slowly pushed forward, lacing his fingers in with hers.

Scooting up so she could lower his stump onto her lap Astrid squeeze the fingers interlocked in hers. When she set the stump down, she felt a butterfly kiss ghost over her cheek. She turned to see Hiccup pulling away, lips twitching at a smile, still scared but understanding. She smiled back.

Rubbing their joined hands over his kneecap, they ended up bumping noses. It transitioned into nuzzling against each other's cheek quickly. His free hand found the back of her head and pulled them even tighter together.

Then he pulled his other hand free so that he could hold her tightly.

A few moments later they realize how awkward things had gotten.

"Umm." Hiccup muttered, his mouth still pressed against her hair.

Astrid shifted a bit, trying to give them some room to move away and get closer. But with their legs locked together, they only ended up more tangled up.

"This isn't exactly..." she mumbled.

"Maybe if we just...?"

"Mmmph."

Astrid tried to shimmy a leg free. But in doing so she knocked the both of them over on their side. Fighting their way free of each other for a moment, the two stayed lying on their sides and held each other close. Hiccup's short leg began to rub a little circular path against Astrid's hip.

"Were we talking about something?" Hiccup asked as Astrid reached down to stroke the stump.

"When?"

"Before we had to talk about my... " he considered his word choice. "leg."

Astrid kissed him, purely on general principle. **[22]**

"We had just wrapped up."

"It sounded like you had a lot of questions before." Hiccup pointed out, "Just the way you said it."

"Must have forgotten about them during, then."

"Oh. All right."

Astrid snuggled into Hiccup's chest. No, huddled. Huddled you could at least do for warmth. A Viking did not snuggle. At least not when there was an excuse to be had for snuggling. No, this was merely affectionate huddling.

"Astrid?"

"Hmm?"

"What... er... what if I've got some questions?"

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **Hiccup learns that moments of intense social awkwardness can strike at any time.

* * *

**[22] **I just wanted to mention that what Astrid and Hiccup are doing for each other is what modern-day therapists and psychologist recommend for other amputees. Well, OK, maybe not the part about trapping the amputee in the bottom of a pit and riding them like a race horse...  
On top of the new self-esteem issues they now face, amputees also have to face the fact that people who want to be with them might be 'devotees' or people who have a fetish for partners with amputations. (And depending on the level of 'devotion', dating a devotee may come with an overwhelming 'Ick' factor. **See Profile Notes**.)

The healthiest relationships amputees can find themselves in are with people who know and accept who they really are, and accept that the amputation is a natural part of the package.


	11. Chapter 11

Hiccup's tone was odd. It unnerved Astrid, but she still said: "Then you should ask them."

"What do you think your parents are asking for their gift?" **[23]**

The hairs on the back of Astrid's neck began to tingle.

"I heard Mom tell your Dad that they would take a poor man's price if you promised to make them new saddles, bits, and leashes for their dragons every year, and a study barn for the winter months. She'll make you supply the materials for both projects, if I know Mom."

"If it's just the silver and the promise do the rest later, we could get the handsal sealed in a few hours."

"If we got the approval of the elder over the match... and the 6 witnesses."

"Do you know if your parents have talked to her?"

"I know your father talked to her about something while Mother was present. But I can't say for certain it was about us."

"Hmm." Hiccup rested his lips against the crown of her head. staring at the cave wall while he was deep in thought. "But if everything else was set up, how long do you think it would take to have the ceremony?"

"Last Friday passed us a few hours ago." **[24] **Astrid pondered, "And I don't have any formal clothes in my dowry. I'll have to find some or make some. And make sure I have everything on my end for the ceremony. Two Friday's from now would be the soonest we could do it."

"Might as well make it 3. It would be closer to June and the first harvests." **[25]**

"Good point. And there would still be a thousand details to flesh out, even if the ceremony would be on short notice and keep simple."

"We'd have to start planning stuff out now. You know, if we could get to a charcoal and some parchment."

Astrid murmured and happily cud- huddled into the boy. "Any chance we could put it off? I'm a little too comfy now."

Hiccup cuddled her. Which he could do, being that he was Hiccup and all.

"Astrid?"

"Mmm?"

"Would you have had this conversation if we hadn't had the chance?"

She wasn't quite sure what he was asking, but she was suddenly very annoyed.

"Who, exactly, would I be having this conversation with?" Astrid asked, "And what do you mean, had the chance?"

Hiccup's face was clearly hesitant, but he didn't stop asking the question.

"If things were different... would you have had this conversation with the guy your parents eventually picked out?"

Of all the things for Hiccup to say, that had to be one of the few that made Astrid suddenly feel like no longer doing anything else with him.

Violently pushing him away from her, she sat up, shaking a finger in his face.

"What in the depths of Hel are you talking about?"

"I-I... it just..." he said.

"If my parents had tried to pick out someone for me... anyone for me, besides you... I would have laughed in their faces. No one in the village has ever made me feel the way I do for you. And I am not someone who would enter into a contract as important as marriage without some affection for the person I'd be hitched up to. And I know, I'm weird saying that, but is not something I will compromise on. **[26] **I-I-I would have died a ridiculed old maid waiting for you to either come around or come back from the dead. And stop looking flattered!"

Hiccup, unabashedly, didn't.

"I'm not flattered, I'm grateful. I'm grateful because I would have done the same."

He cupped her face, warm and happy beyond all measure in the fire light.

"Don't you understand? I feel the same."

Fuming, Astrid rolled over onto her other side, curling herself in as she faced the fire. "What I understand is that you don't know when a subject is closed."

"Astrid..."

When she felt Hiccup's hand on her shoulder, she viciously shrugged it off. She glared at his confused face for a moment before going back to glaring at the fire.

She'd been happy, snug-huddled up next to him, but oh no. He had to keep asking questions.

"I had to at least ask." Hiccup muttered.

"Why did you have to ask that?" Astrid said into the flames, "NOW?"

"I had to know!"

Astrid was up and turned around again, jabbing a finger in Hiccup's face. "Know what? Don't you know how I feel yet?"

"Well..." Hiccup started.

"WELL?" Astrid bellowed,

"If it wasn't important, I wouldn't have asked!"

"Why was asking THAT question NOW so IMPORTANT?"

"You were the one who asked if there was anything else in our way!" Hiccup was waving one hand around while another one had begun to clutch at his head, "It took me a second, but the question just popped into my mind..."

"What, this is my fault now?"

"No! But you know better than anyone that our lives are not our own. And you also know I haven't been privy to the village gossip. Something might have changed. Something I didn't know about! Your mother may have wanted to bring me round, but you said yourself you didn't know what she was talking to the elder about."

"I knew it!" Astrid hissed, shaking both her fists in the boy's face, "I knew you'd come up with one last reason why we weren't going to be together!"

"I am not! I want to be with you! I want us to get married! I'd slay another Green Death with a pocket knife to marry you! But I'm trying to figure out logistics! I'm trying to figure out if we need an exit strategy!"

"This is not something that you should analyze! We just belong together! We should be together!"

"We will be together! I want to be with you for the rest of my life!" Hiccup's hands had come up, as if to grab Astrid's shoulders, but the wisely stopped midway. They waved away as Hiccup added, "Why are you yelling?"

"Are you willing to fight for me? Even if it means going against your father, and my family, and the rest of the tribe?"

"YES. But I..." Hiccup wilted, just a little bit, "...don't want it to be the first thing we have to do..."

Astrid snarled. Hiccup was clearly thinking about was all the years he'd spent as Hiccup the Outcast and how he didn't want to give them up so soon.

"Oh come on! Don't look at me like that! What about you?" Hiccup asked, "Are you willing to go up against the entire village just to prove we belong together?"

Astrid stared him down steely eyed. "Yes."

Hiccup's face softened. "Well ... I ... wasn't sure of that."

Astrid snarled as she grabbed the blanket. "I thought you of all people wouldn't need to question it." She said, coldly.

"I didn't... I just... I JUST... Odin, I just screwed up, didn't I?"

Astrid looked over her shoulder, took in the 'Oh Shit, What Did I Do?' look on Hiccup's face, and rerolled herself into an angry ball.

"Right. Does it help that you've totally won this one?" Hiccup asked miserably.

It did, but Astrid tried to minimize the shoulder twitch that said so.

"I'm sorry. I don't have much experience with this kind of stuff. I've already screwed this up in so many ways just assuming how people are going to act. I just didn't want to run into another problem if trouble was waiting for us back at the village. I should have said it better... I should have done something else. I shouldn't have just... sprung that on you. It was unfair. I'm sorry."

"Just be grateful that I decided to do something. Otherwise we would have been miserable for years."

"Astrid- "

"Don't."

For a moment or two Astrid thought she had scared him off. Then she felt a gentle hand lay against her upper arm.

Even a growl didn't scare Hiccup from touching her. All that work with dragons had steadied his nerves. And taught him how to deal with dangerous attack beasts.

Astrid allowed the gently stroking hand, but kept hold of her well-deserved righteous anger. Even if she felt bereft when the hand stopped moving and just lay on her blanket-covered shoulder.

She looked over that shoulder and up at where Hiccup had sat down next to her. He was deep in thought, and didn't say a thing or move an inch. After a moment or two when he didn't stop staring at the wall, she decided to let him be.

But as soon as Astrid turned her head back, his voice appeared softly in her exposed ear.

"Thank you."

As he whispered the two little words, Hiccup spooned up against her back. He wrapped his arms around her, crossing them in front. With his left hand holding her right shoulder and his right hand holding her left, he tightly pulled her back against the front of his body.

"Thank you for coming after me." He kept whispering in her ear, "Thank you for never giving up on me."

Hiccup still wasn't as strong as she was, but the possessive grip he had on her was strangely inspiring.

"Thank you for asking me to marry you." He said.

"But... I didn't just ask you to..."

"No, but everything you've done in the past year has been asking me to be with you. Be with you for the long haul. And I've been too blind to see it."

The way he was holding her shoulders had pinned her upper arms to her sides. And it didn't look like he'd be releasing her anytime soon. The hold was nothing she couldn't get out of, but it was strangely enjoyable. And the strange whisper his voice had dropped to was making shivers race the breath and width of her spine.

"Even if it was too dangerous to be said out loud, you said it regardless." He told her.

When he softly, kindly, kissed the junction between her neck and shoulder.

"You came for me. You fought for me. You took control."

Whisper

"I love it when you take control," he whispered, "But..."

Gently he adjusted his hips just enough to make her realize there was only the edge of one armored skirt between them.

"I want to take care of you."

Oh Gods.

"I need to take care of you."

Oh GODS what-was-his-short-leg-doing-on-the-inside-of-her-THIGH?

"I just needed to know... if was my right... my right alone to do so."

Letting out a choked, gargled noise, Astrid clenched at the hands that were still locked around her shoulders.

He kissed her awkwardly, right behind her ear. "Astrid..."

Was there a reason WHY in the name of the GODS had she gotten dressed again?

"... can I show you how much you mean to me?"

**

* * *

**

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY:** Astrid realizes her future husband can be a little bit of a freak

* * *

**[23] **And now – the moment everyone, especially 'Just Me', has been waiting for – the Wedding Details Footnote! Naturally, I'll go into minor details of wedding customs as they come up in later chapters, but I'll give the overview of what a traditional Viking expected in marriage. Keep your breast-helmets on, this is going to be a doozy...

So, how did a Viking get married? What were the nitty-gritty details in getting two people into a state of matrimony? Well, as I mentioned before, the parents usually set the match up and handled it as a financial transaction before anything else. Weddings were usually arranged young – between 12 and 16. Yes, the brides were more often given to older men who could pay a bride price. Yes, the decision of the match was more often than not taken out of the hands of one or both members of the bridal couple. And yes, the whole business could be nasty, unfair, misogynistic, and deeply unpleasant.

However - just like marriage in the modern day - the conventions of how a wedding should be were only the beginning of a marriage ceremony.

So how did you find a spouse if you didn't take a fancy to the dragon-slaying, dorky son of the chief? You went to a marriage market. Anyone with a child approaching marriageable age with no real prospects dressed their offspring in their best clothes and put them front and center in the stalls, tending the wares. So, one of the original meat markets might have been just that.

The markets were for the benefit of the parents than anyone else. But if a boy and a girl locked eyes and liked what they saw, they could try to find away to meet. There was sex outside of marriage in the Viking ages, but it was lethally serious business. I'll go into the consequences of being found out in a later footnote, but I will mention the one crucial detail of Viking Necking: even a conservative Viking could understand some fooling around. But that thin understanding ended if someone got pregnant. Having a child out a wedlock created a life-long financial strain on the father, and a sense of alienation and condemnation for the mother and the offspring. (Again, something I'll go into more in-depth in a later footnote...)

If the two lovers decided they couldn't live without each other, then financials became important. The least amount of money a groom needed to marry was 'The Poor Man's Price' – between 8 to 12 ounces of silver. Anything less than that and it was financially unlikely the groom would be able to support the children he and his wife would eventually have.

Then – if there were no wealthy, elderly perverts panting after the young lovers and the parents were interested in approving the match – negotiations started. There needed to be an ombudsman to negotiate the meetings – usually the Chief or the Elder of the tribe, but someone could be brought in if neither of these were feasible. But once an agreement was reached, the marriage contract, or handsal was sealed in the presence of at least 6 witnesses with a jaunty little rythme.  
"We declare ourselves witnesses that thou, N.N., bondest me in lawful betrothal, and with taking hold of hands thou promisest me the dowry and engagest to fulfill and observe the whole of the compact between us, which has been notified in the hearing of witnesses without duplicity or cunning, as a real and authorized compact"

Remember the three wedding gifts I mentioned? The first one – mundr - was paid by the groom's parents to reserve the bride for marriage, and was given to the parents of the bride. The second was the heiman fylgia or dowry. And like any other dowry the world over, it was a gift to the bride of instruments and moneys she would need to bring to the marriage. The third one – the morgen-gifu or morning-gift - was given to the bride herself the day after the wedding was consummated. After she was shown how to put up her hair in the style of a married woman for the first time, her husband gave her this present to buy sexual access to her body for the rest of their lives. Sexist? Totally. But if you were in the position where your new husband was chosen more for his wealth than his physique, this was a chance for him to try to make it up to you.

Fun fact: What was the biggest morning-gift a Viking bridegroom gave to his new wife? Denmark. No. Seriously. The entire country of Denmark. It was given to the Lady Thyre when she married King Gorm.

So how does this tie into the nation of Berk? What hints does the film give us as to how these ancient traditions are translated into this relatively modern village?

Well, the cues here are relatively slim. But because of the good number of shieldgirls on the Green Death battlefield - and the fact that people in small communities want to appear like they aren't stepping on other people's toes - I'm going to say Berk's parents let the kids work things out until age 16. But they'd likely use arranged marriages as a last resort to marry the kids off when they hit Old Maid territory.

And there are hints for this reasoning. After all, Hiccup did say he wanted to kill a dragon to gain the possibility of getting a date. Not something you would have done if the hint of singing a Courting Song would have gotten you banished. And Snotlout's 'you work out' comment would have gotten him chased – and possibly killed - by Astrid's male relatives in a by-the-book Viking society. It seems that Berk had bigger things on their plate than harassing awkward teens, and more flexible attitudes sprang up from that.

Fellow fanfic addicts may recognize these facts already playing into such excellent fics as Backroads' "Irritation, Hatred, and Something Else". And, if you're looking for a fic that describes parts of the wedding details more in depth, while still maintaining a kick-ass story line, I can safely say I'd recommend Backroads fic.

**[24] **Weddings were always held on Freya's Day. AKA Friday. Freya, was goddess of war, love, marriage, and fertility.

**[25] **Most weddings at this time were major affairs. A typical wedding could last around three days of merriment. And a village worth of Viking-sized hungers who are expecting to be entertained is nothing to sneeze at. Because of this, most weddings were scheduled for when the weather was good and crops of some sort were being harvested. This is one of the reasons why June and October were - and still are - popular times to get married.

**[26] **Traditional romance for a Viking was not love before marriage, but love after a marriage has already been ordained. The ideal Viking relationship was an arranged marriage, where neither person knew each other well going into the contract, but where the partnership flourished to the point that the couple was still making goo-goo eyes at each other well into old age.


	12. Chapter 12

One thought kept racing through Astrid's mind.

Don't break his arm. Don't break his arm trying to get out, he's going to need it later, and he'll be pissed with you once things calm down. Don't break his arm. Don't break his arm.

Slipping his stump between her thighs, Hiccup did an awkward scooting maneuver, nudging his hips to get around the spikes on her skirt, with one very important part of him brushing against her thighs.

Astrid heard herself give a very 'get on with it' moan.

Hiccup was smiling when he kissed her shoulder that time, she knew it.

He was still being gentle. Still being careful. He hadn't actually done anything, but he was rubbing his face, arms, and torso up against her with the desire of a dragon in kittygrass, with each move agonizingly slow. Every little bump of skin, or light rub here or there, felt like she was being smacked with a war hammer. She wasn't entirely certain what he was doing below her waist. She was still clutching at where his arms crossed over her chest and panting like a beached whale.

But when the curve of his stump's knee teased the spot where she was still sensitive, aching, and raw, she yelped.

"You BASTARD, once I get out of here, you are going to - "

Hiccup answered by dipping his head down to kiss a patch of flesh on the back of her neck.

Astrid squeaked. DAMN him.

"If you're trying to make me to forget that you asked me one of the most senseless questions of either of our lives then..."

Hiccup's mouth pushed lower and kissed again. His arms were still crossed above Astrid's breasts, his hands still gripped her shoulders, but he kept kissing down the valley of her back.

She knew he was only finding a new place to touch her... but Astrid got a sudden and vivid picture of an act she'd only heard of in bawdy tales, that she had always consider absolutely disgusting until this moment.

".. you're on the right track..." she admitted, weakly.

She tried not to be disappointed as he gently moved his way back up her body and spooned her from behind again.

He was inches away from her. What was he waiting for?

His leg was back. The way the stump slowly thrust back and forth between her thighs was giving her very bad ideas.

She gripped it with her thighs. He rubbed up.

Oh that felt nice. Just enough pressure to be interesting, but not pressing. She could rub and rub all day long, and take hours to get really hot and bothered. And since she was already hot and bothered, it was something she could happily work with.

She pulled the thrusting stump up against her center.

The pressure make her grind against Hiccup's thigh. But there was some light, feathery pressure on her upper thighs, something dragging over the skin.

Astrid looked down to see what it was.

Hiccup's cudgel was at full mast and gently rubbing circles against the back of her thigh, just inches from where it could be put to much better use.

Astrid moaned, as her head dropped back down to the floor. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon..."

"Shhh..."

"Give it to me. Do it."

"I will."

Hiccup kissed her neck, sucking the skin into his mouth and nibbling it with his teeth.

She was moaning now. Gods, she loved this. They had tried it once, behind her father's shed, but it had been nerve wracking afterwards when they thought someone would see the bruise. It was clear from where he kissed her that this time he didn't care who saw it.

"What do you want?" he whispered in her ear.

"Do that again." Astrid told him, stretching her neck out.

He bit down again. Higher. Harder. It stung just enough to be hot as hell.

"Oh please, oh please..." Astrid was yelping as Hiccup started to suck, "Oh please!"

Hiccup finally pulled away. "Please?"

"Why are you putting it off? Do it!"

"What's it?" Hiccup murmured

The lick he gave the bruises on her neck was awkward as well, but it hit enough sensitive bits that it more than did the trick.

After Astrid gargled blissfully in the back of her throat for a moment, she recovered enough to spat out, "What we've been doing all night!"

"And what's that?" Hiccup whispered in her ear.

Astrid had to remind herself why breaking Hiccup's arm was a bad idea. Again. "What? Do you want me to say it?"

"I want you to tell me what you want."

"Fine. I want... I want you to..."

Astrid hesitated.

Hiccup licked the bruises on her neck again. Oh Gods, she wanted to latch her mouth onto his neck like he'd done to her... sucking and licking and biting until there was no doubt who he belonged to, She wanted to haul his ass back to the village, toss him out in the middle of the square, climb on top of him and...

"F-f-f-f..."

Hiccup nuzzled her ear, kissing gently just behind the lobe, and Astrid didn't care how embarrassing it was, she needed this now.

"F-Fuck."

"Yeah?"

"YES." she snarled, embarrassed.

"Say it again."

"Hiccup if you DON'T-"

"Say it." he gently said, "Please say 'fuck me'... I want to be inside you."

Astrid's jaw dropped as the only word that echoed through her brain was a resounding: 'DAMN.'

"Fuck. Me." Astrid said, incredulous.

"Yes."

When she felt him nudging at her entrance, her hand dipped down, pushed him into place, and jerked back with a cry as he quickly drove home.

Hiccup had to situate himself lower against her back. As he rocked and out then forward and in with aching slowness, he only got as high as his nose touching her shoulder. But he hadn't let go of Astrid's shoulders. He was still gripping her. He had never stopped holding her.

Even as he rocked. And rocked. And rocked.

How had it gotten so hot on the cave floor?

"Why... r'you going... so slow?" Astrid asked between pants.

"So you... feel... everything."

Astrid leaned her head back over her shoulder. She was able to nuzzle the top of Hiccup's head every time he went in. And in. And IN.

The skirt was getting in the way, though. She unbuckled it one handed. When it was off, she arched her back against Hiccup's stomach and heard him groan.

She liked this angle. It made her feel... wet. And not just from what was happening between her legs. The closeness of their skin created a pocket of hot moving skin that was quickly soaked with sweat. Sweat that made obscene, wet, sounds as they moved together.

Hiccup's cheek was rubbing against her back and shoulder. Just the faintest hint of stubble on his chin was rubbing into her skin, reminding her that his mouth was right there.

"Please... lick my back.."

"Where?"

"Anywhere."

Hiccup dragged his tongue in the groove of her back all the way up to her neck.

Oh yes-yes-yes... his mouth in those wet places made her gasp. She wanted his mouth lower. Wetter. She wanted that stubble scraping her in places she barely learned to TOUCH yet.

She leaned her head back to butt her head against his. She got kiss on her ear for her trouble.

"Oh Gods... I want your mouth. I want your mouth to taste me everywhere."

Hiccup groaned, and began rutting his hips just a little faster.

"That's it." Astrid said, grabbing Hiccup's ass and pulling it against her as she tried to get him to pick up the pace. "Get it in. Go deeper. Yes. Like that."

"You are so hot when you talk..."

"You like it when you have me pinned down and begging you to ram your – " Her mouth slammed shut. Dear THOR what was coming out of her mouth?

Hiccup groaned and clutched at her. "Yes. I love it. I love it. Instruct me. Teach me."

Oh FUCK, how did Hiccup get this sexy this quick?

Course, it didn't hurt that he was still rubbing his face against her back as he thrust, reaching his mouth up every so often to briefly li-IIICk ! LICK! NECK! AGAIN! AGAIN! GODS!

Fuck playing around. If she didn't get off soon, she thought her head would explode.

Snaking her hand down the front of her, she began playing with that little lump.

As she touched it, she could feel his... cudgel slipping in and out of her.

"You're inside... you're inside of me..." she whispered.

"GODS...Mmm... Touch yourself... Let me see you touch yourself..."

Reaching a hand down to get back on the road she had traveled before, Astrid started rocking against Hiccup... faster and faster.

"No, wait." Hiccup's arms gripped her shoulders. "Let me try."

As Astrid stopped, he began to thrust into her.

Each push was firm. Forceful. Almost hard enough. The pace was as slow as before, but each return was worth the wait.

"Come on. I won't break." Astrid said, her voice strained and her fingers grinding down, "Harder."

Hiccup obliged.

Muscles straining, he began to pound into her, making breathy, desperate, stimulating little noises each time he was buried to the hilt inside her.

Astrid writhed against him, trying to grind herself over the last peak.

"Talk." he gasped, "Talk."

Astrid obliged.

"I'm close. I'm so close, you have no idea. Keep going. Oh Gods, Oh Gods. You're pinning me down and fucking my brains out. You're going to force me over the edge, just like this. I never thought it would make me feel so good. Oh Hiccup, fuck me like a-"

Hiccup's grip suddenly tightened so hard that his fingernails drew blood.

The frightened, desperate, ecstatic wail he gave as he reached his climax threw Astrid over the cliff. She started screaming as blinding pleasure sang through her veins, with a chorus of Oh Fuck... Oh Fuck...

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY:** Hiccup and Astrid agree they need 5 more minutes before they get up...


	13. Chapter 13

**My Beloved Readers Who Have Lightened My Life, Inspired My Muse, and Fed My Hopes.**

**We need to talk.**

**I must tell you that I...er...**

**...well, let's just say I've got some good news and some bad news.**

**What? Tell you NOW? Inconceivable. I've hand-crafted some really good smut for this chapter, and I wouldn't want you to get distracted by "impending doom" just to...**

**...oh. Impending Doom kills the mood?**

**Damn.**

**Well, let me just put it this way. This is going to be a semi-long conversation, and the first thing I want to do before settling in for some really good smut is put a big old block of killjoy text in the way.**

**Meet me at the bottom of the chapter, after Hiccup discovers a move that will allow him to win every domestic argument from here on out, and I'll give you a run-down. It's nothing bad, but it is something that might make you think.**

* * *

Oh fuck.

Oh FUCK.

Astrid was still trying to come out of the sea of pleasure that had almost drowned her moments before. By Freya, if Hiccup kept doing that then they would never leave the floor of this cave. They'd die of starvation, wrapped up in each others arms. Hopefully the obscene grin wouldn't show through the shroud when they were set on the pyre.

And what was more, it seemed Hiccup was very good at taking the reigns when he wanted to be.

"A-Astrid?"

Not that she didn't relish the idea of staying on top, but a girl wanted to be cared for now and then. It was very nice to know her boy could deliver.

"Um... Astrid?"

She had to pay him back in kind, now. She was getting ideas about rope. But her headboard wouldn't be sound enough to handle them. If she could tie him to a tree in the depths of the forest...

"Astrid, are you OK?"

"By the GODS that was dirty."

Hiccup looked so guilty and so flustered, she almost felt sorry for him. "If you didn't like..."

"How did you come up with that?"

"I was keeping track of what you liked to do. And I know what I've been thinking about trying. And I figured it would work if I all put it together."

"Mmm... together? Why?"

"Well, it worked before. Sort of. And I wanted to thank you... and I was trying to help you forget the question."

Astrid looped her hands behind her head and grinned like a madwoman.

"I mean it was kinda on the fly..." Hiccup said, obviously nervous, "I didn't even really know what I was doing myself... I mean, to me it felt... wow.. but I was just improvising with what I knew and..."

"You are so good without even trying."

Hiccup blinked. "What? Really?"

"If you're going to do that to make me forget every time you start an awkward moment, then... we should have been home an hour ago. We should have gotten the contract in place yesterday."

Astrid pulled Hiccup on top of her, wrapping her legs around the boy's waist

"I knew marrying you would have it's benefits, but by Freya..."

She started kissing him slowly, deeply and gently. He quickly responded, dragging loving fingers over her face.

"And I need to return the favor now. Let's see your neck."

"My n- Oh."

Hiccup carefully turned so that Astrid had a full view of his neck. The girl rolled herself on top of him, and latched her lips onto the most visible patch of skin she could find. She bit down and started to suck.

Hiccup gasped, moaned, and half-heartedly tried to get her off of him, but she just kept going. Finally, deciding to take something resembling pity on the boy, she gently pinched her teeth down on the flap of skin in her mouth. And she relaxed her jaw's grip enough that the skin had to slowly, agonizingly, slip past her pearly whites to rejoin the rest of Hiccup's neck.

It made Hiccup quiver like a dying eel and clutch at her desperately.

The bruise began forming almost as soon as Hiccup's head hit the ground.

He looked so delicious that Astrid had to roll him onto his back and straddle him again.

"Gods, you look good," she said.

"So do you."

Astrid got into position to grind away, but she realized something was missing.

"Not good enough to get you interested again?"

"Astrid, we've gone three times." Hiccup groaned.

"I thought it was four."

"Well, you might have been four with the...' Hiccup made a hand motion that brought back some recent happy memories "But I had three. Every man has a limit, and it looks like mine is three. I'm good with three. As much as I want you, I can't go for four. Not right now."

"I think I can get you to four."

"Maybe eventually, but..."

Astrid jumped him, cutting any conversation short. She kissed him deeply, passionately, squirming against him in ways that made him shiver and squeak. But there was no improvement when she ran an hand down to check the situation.

It was hard to glare at someone when you'd been satiated in all the ways Astrid had been. She gave it her best shot, regardless.

"I want you Hiccup."

"And you can have me later. it's not like I'm going anywhere."

Astrid rested her head against Hiccup's chest and trying to tell herself she didn't want or need anything that they had been doing before this moment. "Probably shouldn't have gotten myself worked up again."

"I'll do what I can to help you.. just so long as I don't have to move too much."

Astrid snorted. Then, like the insane question Hiccup had asked before, a thought popped into her head.

A nearly insane thought. A tantalizing thought.

"That was fast." Hiccup said, more than a little impressed.

"I didn't say anything."

"With the look on your face? You didn't have to."

"Forget it... it's just..."

Hiccup, with a little effort, pulled himself up. "C'mon. Let's hear it."

"What? No... no..."

"I've been the one asking you to try everything tonight. Let's hear what you want to try."

"You just like me in charge."

Hiccup nuzzled her ear, and said quietly, "Yes. Very much."

The whisper was sexy. "Quit doing that if you've got nothing to back it up."

"Fine. I'll just do whatever you'd like me to do. It'll take the edge off."

"It was.. way too perverted to try."

His mouth was back at her ear. "Please?"

"Will you quit whispering!"

He didn't move. "Tell me."

"That's not going to work all the time."

"...Astrid?"

Astrid growled. But said, "I wanted you to..." her fingers brushed his lips significantly, "Down..." her hand traveled down her belly to grab her center.

Hiccup brightened, stroking her shoulder with his hand. "All right. Can I lay down on my back?"

Astrid flushed, but nodded.

It took a while to get into position, but just before Astrid sat down she stopped. "I'm still... damp. From a lot of... stuff."

"It's OK." He kissed the fuzz her between her legs. "See? Not poisonous."

Astrid – carefully – sat down.

Hiccup's lips had been angled towards her thigh as she did so, so the first wet contact of his mouth was angled away from her center.

But the first wet brush of his mouth against the sensitive skin was... a revelation.

Grabbing the top of his head and firmly moving it into position, Astrid reseated herself. Hiccup's mouth nuzzled toward the little lump like a puppy looking for it's mother's teat. And as soon as he found it...

OH. OH OH OH OH...

... Hiccup's hand was slapping her thigh. The classic time out signal.

"You might want to let me breathe." he panted

"Right." Astrid panted back, "Right."

Hiccup's mouth. Hiccup's mouth on her mouth, on her back, on her neck, was good.

Hiccup's mouth on her center was better.

Mouth, Mouth, Mouth, MOUTH...

Hiccup's hand was back slapping her thigh.

"Could you keep my hair on my head?"

Astrid reluctantly released her grip on his scalp.

There were things that a tongue could do that fingers couldn't. A tongue was nimble, wet, oh by the GODS wet, and warm, and had that whisper of stubble, and could get into little crevices and make clutch at your breast, and make noises like a dying lamb...

Hiccup's hands were grasping at her stomach and back, encouraging her every little gasp.

She grabbed one, kissing the palm then all five fingers.

This had to be incorporated into their morning routine. Wake. Greet Toothless. Strap on Leg. Reaffirm will to live. Go down on wife for an hour.

Maybe two hours.

Hiccup's tongue found the spot. The spot that had made her lose control and most of her sanity.

And that tongue began to play against it.

Squealing and thrashing, Astrid's thighs grabbed Hiccup's head and began rutting against it.

Hiccup didn't stop.

There was no way he was breathing comfortably. If at all. But he still kept flicking at that spot.

Yes.

That. Spot.

...Three hours. Three hours a day was a good morning routine.

Undying, immense pleasure was rushing through her veins, unchecked. No matter how she screamed, thrashed, or cried out to the gods, it wouldn't stop. She didn't want it to stop. She was scared at how good it all felt. But she didn't want it to stop.

And as long as his tongue kept moving, it wouldn't.

She felt like a piece of metal in the forge, burning hot, pummeled into submission. So intense.

Too intense. She was fighting not to pass out.

Reluctantly, and more than a little disappointed in herself, she tapped out on Hiccup's chest.

Hiccup's tongue moved away from the spot.

After a moment of frantic panting on her part, Astrid realized Hiccup wasn't moving.

Frightened, she opened her thighs and cupped his head in her hands, terrified she might have hurt him.

He was fighting for breath, but no worse for the wear. "Are you all right?"

Astrid ran a hand through her hair and whimpered pathetically.

Hiccup smiled sympathetically, and his fingers found her center.

Three rubs later, climax found her, sharp and sweet.

Three seconds after that she realized just how tired she was.

Astrid rolled off her perch and hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"Are you..." Hiccup panted, finally getting a clear shot at oxygen again, "I mean, the last..."

"I'm done. I am done for the day." Astrid said, weakly waving her arms in front of her as if she was refusing another round of mead, "I'm out."

"We've... really got to try that again."

"Hmm..." Astrid agreed, kissing the nearest patch of Hiccup flesh she could reach.

"You know... when I can move?"

Astrid grabbed Hiccup's shoulder with a shivering arm and pulled him close. They ended up lying on their sides, facing each other.

"Sure you don't want to try for four?" she asked

"If I could have I would have already. You know, when you made that squealing... yelping... I just wanted to... wow."

Astrid lazily ran her hand over the boy's chest. She'd remember that next time.

"Astrid." Hiccup murmured, "We don't..."

"Mmm?" Astrid pulled away so the boy could speak.

"We don't need a contract. I mean, I want one. But if my father disapproves... or if your family changed their minds... it's not going to stop me." Hiccup said, his gaze determined and unrelenting, "I don't want one more thing standing between us. And if that means having to defy tradition, I'll do it."

"Good. If it comes down to it," Astrid told him, "you won't be alone."

After a moment of kissing and nuzzling, Astrid added, "But let's at least see if we can get away with a wedding."

"What?"

"Hey, what better way to show our commitment than go through the horror most couples are subjected to?"

"What if they make us have witnesses to the consummation?" [**27**]

"You've got nothing to be ashamed about. And I wouldn't mind showing off my good fortune." Astrid kissed him with a deep fiery passion, her hands latching onto the backside that – in her mind – was already her personal property.

Hiccup responded. For several minutes. But, in time, he pulled away. "Astrid, I meant what I said."

"So did I. But let's try to go the traditional route first. Just as a show of good faith."

They reached for each other, pulling in for another kiss, warm and sweet. They'd kissed dozens of times during this night alone, but each time was as intense as the first. Astrid knew she would never get tired of kissing him.

This was right. This was her husband. And with nothing else between them, she needed to make it official as soon as possible.

"Hiccup, we need to talk to our parents."

"Right. Five minutes."

"Five minutes?"

Hiccup kissed her. "Five minutes."

Astrid kissed him back. Why not? The future could wait five minutes.

* * *

NEXT SATURDAY: Toothless gets his best friend back.

* * *

[**27**] The tradition that launched a thousand fan-comics and at least two damn good smutty fanfics. After days worth of feasting, toasting, and Storytelling, Vikings wanted to make absolutely sure the couple had a sanctified marriage. In later Viking societies this meant having six witnesses lead the happy couple to the bridal chamber, getting them ready for bed, then give them a final blessing before they left them to figure it out on their own. But in earlier societies, the witnesses stayed around until the act was completed, drinking wedding mead and tossing out the occasional bawdy suggestion.

And before you think this was just another example of Viking Humor, the practice itself was not new during Hiccup's time, nor did it stop soon after. Sofia Coppola's "Marie Antoinette" accurately depicted the wedding night of the famous royal couple. And in Sigourney Weaver's "Snow White: a Tale of Terror" a more-or-less realistic version of Wedding Night Customs in Medieval France are shown.

Even today, certain societies demand to see the bloodied bed sheet of a newly married couple to ensure the bride was a virgin. Ew. **See my Profile Notes for the gorey details.**

* * *

Well, our tale is done for this week. Might as well spill the beans.

**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?**

As those who follow my Twitter feed and Author's Notes may know, I've been bitching about auditions and producer duties for several weeks now. This is because I'm currently producing an independent movie with a really great group of people. Rehearsals alone have been taking up to 7 hours a day, five nights a week.

One member of this merry band is an experienced Wiccan. A former High Priest of his own coven, and now a Gardinarian devotee, this kind-hearted 30 year veteran of the occult has become the 'Dad' of the production, and has been educating the curious about some of the misconceptions of his faith.

Three nights ago he gave a group of us a tarot reading. I was one of the three people in that group. Every single one of us got readings that were frighteningly accurate. Even he said he wasn't usually that in-tune when he gave readings to friends and clients. And he told us things that he couldn't have possibly known about and changes that we ourselves had just realized may be coming.

I have a creative project that I truly believe could make an impact if I had the time to do it right. And I think if I work hard enough, I could get it on the market by 2012. So I asked the cards, if I bust my ass getting this project off the ground, would I be rewarded with the success I think it deserves?

The answer was a frighteningly specific 'yes.'

Now don't take me for a blind follower. I haven't been able to trust a tarot reader since an incident with a charlatan fortune teller seven years ago. But with this utterly trustworthy person, with details no one else but myself knew about, on a night where the divine seemed to be slipping us the answers to life, the universe, and everything... well, it's too fantastic not to believe.

So, what little free time I have left, I'm going to be devoting to getting this creative project off the ground. This means going on hiatus from certain writing clients, cutting back on a few fun things I had planned, and overall putting my nose to the grindstone.

But... **WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU GUYS?**

It means, after OLP wraps, you may not hear from me for at least a year.

I know I've taken longer hiatuses, but I think this one is going to be murder. The HTTYD fanfic fans are some of the best I've ever written for. Your hits, support, and reviews have meant so much to me I can scarcely put it into words.

It's sustained me while I was going through some very recent and very monstrous tough times. It's been your honest criticism that has made me fact-check and re-evaluate my source material like the dammed. And watching the fan-drooling at some of the juicier parts has made me giggle like a school girl. (And, admittedly, put more fan service in.)

What's worse is that I had two follow-up fics half-written for OLP: "On This Your Wedding Day," where we get to meet Astrid's mother and find out a little more about how both Hiccup and Astrid explain their relationship to the rest of the villagers, and "Deep Woods," which was unabashed smut inspired by Astrid's forest-and-rope based thoughts at the beginning of this chapter.

But polishing them both into the scintillating stories you've become accustomed to would take time that I just don't have. They're both still coming, just at a much later date.

**QUESTIONS?**

The two main FAQs I can answer involve OLP postings... There are two chapters left. The last update will be on September 3rd.

And for anyone who may be cranky at the news, this is totally on schedule. Like I've mentioned before, I wrote the story in it's entirety before I started posting it. So – aside from some tweaks and fan service here and there – this is the way it would have always been.

Drop me any other questions you might have as a review or a private message. I'll answer them during the next chapter post.


	14. Chapter 14

Well folks, this is the penultimate chapter of 'One Last Problem,' and - for those of you unfamiliar with Monty Python scetches about Leonardo DaVinci - that means this is the second to last update.

I wanted to bring that up for two reasons:** 1)** to bring people who may have skipped the massive author's note from last time up-to-date and **2) **to express my greatest thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and writing in asking for more.

My special thanks goes out to **TheRaven'sComputerDesk**, **Toph the blind warrior**, **LionHeart**, **The Mad shoe1**, **Gizmobunny**, **GhibliGirl91**, **slpytlak**, **Star **and **Calico** for their Chap. 13-centric fan love. You guys are making this sabatical worse in the best way possible.

...and that may be the weirdest phrase of praise I've ever typed. Ah well. Onto the Chapter!

* * *

Toothless had spent the majority of a cold, wet night, miserably hunched against the floor of the mouth of the cave. He had had to blast the earth regularly to keep warm. So regularly, in fact, that he was currently sitting in a smoldering pit a foot deep into the rock. Which he was considering reblasting again soon. If his loyalty to two humans hadn't kept him there, he would have never spent such a miserable night out in the cold.

But as the rising sun began to light the eastern sky, he saw something that finally made that miserable night pay off.

There had been all sorts of strange noises coming from the pit throughout the night went on. But now familiar voices were starting to rise from the darkness in a way that announced their owners were getting closer. Toothless shuffled over to the edge of the lip and peeked down.

Astrid was pulling herself up the ropes that led down into the belly of the cave. And Hiccup was on her back, his false leg under his arm. They were both smiling and laughing.

Pouncing up and down on the ground in his excitement, Toothless, jumped back onto the bed of coals, and waited for them to arrive. His tail was whipping back and forth as he pressed himself flat against the ground, trying to be stealthy.

When Astrid finally pulled them up to the shelf and put Hiccup down, Toothless could smell that they were both reeking of each other. And Hiccup didn't notice him. Hiccup kept moving closer to Astrid and touching her as if he couldn't stop himself.

Throwing his false leg down, Hiccup used both hands to pulled Astrid down to her knees so he could hold her and look up into her eyes. He did that strange mouth-to-mouth thing that humans did with their mates, until they clutched at each other - growling with pleasure.

At last. The dance had ended.

"Well, it took a while," Astrid said to Toothless as she grabbed Hiccup around the waist and pulled them both to their feet, "But I finally got him back."

Toothless pounced.

His best friend pinned beneath him, Toothless began licking his face and nuzzling up against him. And the boy laughed. And hugged him back. He was free of the sadness that had gripped him and kept him from them for so long.

"Agh! Toothless! Hey buddy. Mind letting me up?"

Toothless snorted. He'd been waiting for this moment for some time now, the boy wasn't going to cut it short. Wrapping the boy up in a cocoon of limbs and wings, Toothless cooed happily, sticking his nose in to see how the human fared. Hiccup strugged a bit, but hugged him back just the same. In fact, one hand reached out to rub his nose, like it had when they first became friends.

"You know I am going to want him back eventually." Astrid said, playfully scratching Toothless in just the right place behind his ears.

Ahh... this was bliss. Toothless happily rubbed his back against the slimy floor of the lip. His two favorite humans playing with him. Playing with each other. If this lasted, it would be worth a hundred cold nights on Berk.

"In fact, I need him back pretty soon. We need to talk to our parents about something. And it's a pretty big something, so..."

Toothless was neither amused, nor in the mood to negotiate. He hoped the expression he shot the girl said as much.

"Well, how about this? Get us back to Berk as soon as possible, and tomorrow I'll run interference to make sure you guys can have a whole day together."

It must have been serious. He rarely had a full day with either of them anymore. To have from sun-up to sun-down with the boy was a rare treat he'd not had since after they'd returned from victory in battle.

With an understanding harrumph, Toothless rolled onto his side and opened up his wings.

The sight within made the pupils of his eyes go to war-shield-size with happiness.

The boy was lying on his stomach, happily hugging him back - scrawny arms tucked between arm and wing. His face was just as open and innocent as the first time the boy had touched his muzzle.

Toothless nuzzled his friend, licking him on the side of his face.

"Thanks buddy. And I'm sorry. I mean, about how I've been acting. It's not going to happen again."

"You can say that again. Toothless, if he even tries acting mopey again, you come and get me. We'll take turns blasting him." Astrid said. She was down on the ground, rummaging through the little leather pouch Hiccup had attached behind the saddle. "And where are your blasted extra ties?"

"They're in there."

"They'd better be. You promised I could put your leg on."

"Not like you didn't make some promises yourself." Hiccup turned back to Toothless. "Guess what? Astrid's promised that as soon as we can, we're getting a bed big enough for all three of us to fit in."

"WHEN he wants to crash with us, don't tell him he has to."

"He wants to, trust me." Hiccup said, "You like curling up in warmer spots when the weather gets cold, don't ya buddy? Well, you've got two human-sized heaters, as soon as we get things finalized."

"We'd better start designing a big bed when we get back - ah HA! Got one!" Astrid pulled one of the thin leather chords Hiccup used to attach his false leg, "Otherwise it might be awkward."

Toothless snorted. Apparently Astrid had a great deal to learn about bunking with a night fury. Spreading open his wings, he flicked his tail so she lost her footing and fell on top of where Hiccup was still lying. Then he quickly wrapped both of them up. Astrid flailed for a second, uncertain of what had just happened, but as soon as she wedged herself up against his boy she saw that she was safe.

"Comfy?" came Hiccup's muffled voice.

"Actually, yes."

Purring, Toothless stuck his nose in the gap to sniff at them.

Astrid coughed, "Blech. Dragon breath."

"It's easy to get used to." Hiccup told her, scratching his nose once again, "And it's the best wake-up call out there."

"How exactly do we get out of here?"

"Toothless will let you out when he wakes up himself."

"What if you have to wake up before Toothless?"

Toothless put his eye down to the opening to see what they were doing.

"Then you've got a fight on your hands." Hiccup said, dryly. He was hugging Toothless with one arm and hugged Astrid with the other. "But you've had more training than I have. You might be able to get out in time."

Astrid hugged Hiccup with one arm, then hugged Toothless with the other.

Toothless nuzzled the lump his friends made, secure where they lay under his wings, and wrapped his head and tail over them.

They didn't say anything much after that. At least not until Astrid realized they'd all been nodding off and would be late getting wherever they needed to go so desperately. She found the one spot on Toothless' neck that dropped him like a happy stone, and pulled Hiccup out with her.

"I'm just saying," Hiccup said, clearly not happy about leaving a place where he was warm, dry, and sleepy. "They wouldn't miss us that much if we were a little late."

"The sooner we get back to the village, the sooner we talk to our parents." Astrid said, pulling a rag from Hiccup's pack. She walked to the edge of the lip and carefully extended her hand and the rag out to catch the falling rain water. "The sooner we talk to our parents, the sooner they finalize the contract. And the sooner they finalize the contract and the sooner we can get married, and spend weeks napping if we so choose."

"Right, right."

Toothless rolled over onto his legs. When the Vikings mated, they needed the match to be approved by their sires? Leave it to the Vikings to make something like finding a mate unnaturally complicated.

He helped Hiccup by giving him his right flank to rest on, as Astrid picked up his false leg. Astrid slung the false leg slung over her shoulder like a spear, and for a moment she stood over Hiccup, gazing at him intensely.

Then she got down on one knee, and rolled up the cuff of his leg-covering.

The sad lump of flesh that was what was left of the boy's leg shivered in the crisp early-morning air. The boy always flinched when he had to show it, but when Astrid exposed the skin, he hadn't moved.

Astrid took the wet rag and gently rubbed it over the exposed lump. Toothless looked back and forth from this strange scene, to the boy who looked like he was... enjoying it?

Then, with the skin relatively clean, Astrid pulled out the little cap of fabric Hiccup usually covered the lump with. Kissing the boy's knee, she slipped the cover on. Then, quickly and efficiently, locked the rest of the moving parts and buckles of the leg in place.

After gently pulling the outer leg covering back into place, Astrid stood up, watching Hiccup with an expression that was sweet and kind. Hiccup raised his arms, and took both her hands in his.

It was then that Toothless decided to move things along. There had been too many delays, anyway.

With a bump from his spine, Hiccup flew up onto his feet and into Astrid's arms.

And suddenly the two were kissing like they had no where else to go.

And they started kissing again as Hiccup locked himself back into the saddle for flight. And as Astrid settled behind him and held onto his waist. And as they flew up, past the rainclouds and into the ever-brightening sky.

And above the expanse of clouds, Hiccup threw his arms up in the air, and cheered with happiness for the first time in a cycle.

The few miles to home passed quickly.

* * *

**NEXT SATURDAY: **How Stoick found out his son was getting married.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! Last chapter... Wow is that weird to say.**

**As promised it's Monday, it's afternoon-ish, and I'm back to fill in the last few blanks.**

**For those of you who have been begging, pleading, and outright demanding for more... well, you've wore me down. All my other projects are making excellent progress, so I decided to throw you a smut-filled carrot for a holiday present. Sometime around Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice I'll post the 'Deep Woods'... aka the smutty tree-and-bondage based one-shot. There's not as much plot as 'On This Your Wedding Day' which talks about the drama that happens just before the Haddock/Hofferson wedding... but something tells me it will keep your interest just the same...**

**For those of you who have expressed interest in the movie I've been working on, I'd love to shoot you links via FF... but I had a recent incident that's proved I need to keep my Fic and Pro Writing stuff relatively seperate.**

**So, I'll just have to e-mail them to you.**

**As you know, my fanfiction e-mail address is through Hotmail - user name 'LioBorte'. It's on my profile as well, if you just want to cut and paste the address.**

**Put the phrase "Interested In Movie Links" somewhere in the body or title of the e-mail and I'll shoot you a list of links where you can get the latest news.**

**I highly recommend this for those of you who want a smut boost between now and December. We just shot a smoking-hot makeout scene between two of our principle actors this weekend, and it's already up on the usual channels.**

**There are way, way, WAY too many people to thank when it comes to thank-yous. The reviewers alone are making my head spin in terms of the overwhelming amount of gratitude. I've been trying to compile a list of everyone who has been so generous with their time and praise, but it's taken me two hours, and I'm not done yet. Two. Hours. Damn. Just... damn.**

**So, I've decided to be logical and just send out Thank-You notes. If you were logged in when you reviewed, expect a note from me in your messages sometime this week. If you submitted a review while you were logged out, I still want to thank you for your honesty, your enthusiasm, and - hopefully - your return for mindless smut in December. I'll drop you a thank-you note here as soon as I can.**

**Oh, and the links mentioned in the author's notes will be going up on my profile sometime tonight. So, if you want to do further research about Vikings living with their in-laws or germanic forms of contraception, today's your lucky day.**

**As I've said, this is not 'goodbye' but a 'catch you later.' **

**Can't wait to see you all on the other side.**

* * *

The morning had dawned lead-grey and as serious as a heart attack. Stoick the Vast had just attached his armor and was steeling himself to go downstairs.

Hiccup would be up in a few minutes, and before the boy snuck off to train with the villagers, they needed to have a talk.

It was strange to start thinking of Hiccup as a problem again. After 3 years of relative quiet, the boy had grown so much. He was taking responsibly and showing strength in ways he had never done before. He had crossed seas, tamed wild beasts and shown everyone that he was truly his father's son. And Stoick was proud of him.

But for the first time in 3 years, he was starting to worry once again.

It was one thing not to prefer any girl in the village. It was another thing entirely to only prefer one girl and then stop. Something was going on. He knew it had been. Months had gone by, and the mood he was in had refused to lift.

He had spoken to the people in the village he had trusted most. He had spoken to Astrid's parents. He had even had Gobber keep an eye on the boy. But he still wasn't sure what his son's problem was.

It was a hard thing to go back to having a discussion he didn't want to have with his son.

So he had risen early in the hopes of catching the boy before he left for the stadium.

But as he made his way into the main room of the house, he saw the unexpected.

Astrid. And Hiccup. Sitting at the bench, with the beast underfoot. His son was writing something down on a large piece of parchment, while Astrid sipped a steaming mug of something hot.

"I might as well make the second sword myself, otherwise I won't be able to throw it." Hiccup was saying, "Not that I shouldn't start practicing." **[28]**

"And I've got to find the box for my kransen" Astrid was saying, scratching at the headband in question, "But if my mother's bridal crown melted during the final dragon attack, we might have a problem." **[29]**

A smell hit him that instantly took him back 15 years. Seeping marjoram, thyme, parsley, and lavender. **[30] **It made him remember how difficult Hiccup's birth was. It made him remember early mornings after nights their healer expressly forbid.

It was coming from the mug Astrid was sipping.

He slowly made his way into the room, unwilling to disturb the scene just yet.

"We should have the ceremony down in the canyon near Raven's Point. It's a nice spot, and it has a lot of meaning."

"That's a long way to race back to the hall for the reception," **[31] **Astrid pointed out. She had put down her brew and was scratching the beast on the spot on his neck that sent his tail flailing. Hiccup scooted closer to her, petting the beast himself, and getting closer to the girl.

"Yeah, but it's the perfect spot."

The girl started rubbing the boy's knee, pulling up the cuff of his pants.

"Yeah." Astrid said.

As the two leaned in close, Stoick felt he should clear his throat.

The two immediately jerked apart. "Dad! Uh, hey - hey dad! Didn't expect to... you know, see you up this late. Uh, early."

Hiccup swung his leg over the bench and stood up. Astrid scooted back to where she had sat before, and the night fury nudged its head into the girl's lap. ... had the beast just rolled its eyes at the boy?

"I guessed that. What are you two doing?"

"Just... talking some things out."

"Talking."

"Yep. Just working out a few details here and there, uh, you know. Things we've been too busy to put down on paper."

Stoick didn't say a word.

Despite the shock of seeing him, his son was smiling. Smiling like he hadn't done since his mother passed. A rough texture was imprinted on the hands he held up and on one side of his cheek. His clothes looked like he'd been crawling through the mud then flying through the rain. The laces on his leg had been replaced. His leg was visible. For the first time since the battle with the great dragon queen, he had not become distressed with the leg of his leggings being rolled up above the knee.

And then there was the girl. There were twigs and gravel coming out of her hair. Her armor looked like it had been put on in the dark. Even if he could have put this all down to a friendly bout of sparing, what she was drinking and the bruises on their necks told a different story.

"Yep." the boy said, trying to look anywhere but at his father. "Talking. Just... talking."

Astrid belted back the rest of her brew and got up from the bench. "You know, I'm going to..."

"Oh right, that's a good idea." Hiccup agreed.

"Give you guys an opportunity to -"

"Right, like we discussed."

"Because my mom, she needs to - "

"Right, the earlier the better."

The devil beast snorted, then looked up at the tallest beam in the highest rafter. He gave a slight, irritated growl. Stoick scanned the roof. "What the devil is he snarling at?"

There was a faint scraping sound as he looked away,

But neither Hiccup nor Astrid said anything. In fact, suspicious, he turned around to see his son quickly pushing on the girl's shoulder's to separate them, and utterly failing to look innocent. The beast suddenly didn't look the least bit alarmed as he pulled his tail away from the small of the girl's back.

He would have bet the dark, scaly creature would have been whistling if his lips could accommodate the sound.

"Right! Mom. Talking." Astrid turned back to the boy and playfully tweaked his nose. "Later."

Pulling her pack on her shoulder and petting the beast, Astrid bounded out of the hall, waving behind herself as she did.

The boy's dreaming expression didn't fade as she walked over the crest of the hill. It wasn't until Stoick waved a hand in front of his son's eyes that the boy came back to solid ground.

"Right. Dragon class. I'm teaching the new riders today."

He started to walk off, but Stoick grabbed him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten, pulling him back to sit at the table.

"Not just yet. We needed to talk today, we might as well talk about this instead." He sat himself down at the head of the table, and started reading the notebook still open on it. It was a rough draft of a wedding contract. The wedding contract both families had been putting off writing until they figured out what was happening with those two.

The terms for the three weddings gifts were exactly what he would have chosen. The changes that Hiccup would need for he and Astrid to live comfortably were exactly what he would have chosen to give the young couple privacy. **[32] **And the bed they had sketched out was large enough that the beast wouldn't be hanging from any rafters in the main room, which would add years to his life. It was almost as if the two of them had been working on this for years.

"Do you want to tell me what's been going on?"

"You mean with Astrid and - "

"Yes. Tell me. What is going on with you and Astrid?"

"Well, we decided not to put things off. Er, anymore. She's going to talk to her parents to make sure they still approve, and I was hoping to convince you to get the elder so we can get the details hammered out before I have to help Gobber at the forge. Say, noonish? Er... today?"

"That's it?"

"Well, I mean... we DO have to be in the ceremony-"

"That's all that has been going on? Why did you wait this long? Did you not know I was speaking with her parents for the past year?"

"I heard about-"

"Did you not see the rest of your peers married and settled? Did you not think it was something that applied to you? What has been going through that blasted head of yours all these months?"

Toothless snarled and snapped at the Chieftain s ankles.

"And you stay out of it you blasted beast!"

"Woah! Dad! Dad... taunting the Night Fury? Not going to help the situation."

He turned to the beast with both hands open, "We're talking buddy. That's it. No need to get concerned."

The beast harrumphed and tromped off.

"Dad, it's not that I didn't see what was going on. I just wasn't sure I could be a part of it."

"And you really thought you had a choice? A father can decide the best path for his children, Hiccup."

"And a son can climb on his dragon and fly away at any time."

Stoick's heart jumped when the fear he had had since Hiccup first took to the skies after the battle was voiced.

"But c'mon Dad. Following the rules never worked for us. Why else would you have given me all this time to figure things out?"

"Well..."

"Would your father have waited this long for you to come around before he approved the marriage between you and mom?"

"What your grandfather did for our marriage is complicated. But I understand what you are trying to say." Stoic took a deep breath, "You said you didn't think you could be a part of it."

"Right. I didn't. But - but... NOT because I didn't want to. It's kind of weird thinking I'm old enough to marry, but if I ever wanted anyone, it's Astrid. I mean, I don't feel what I feel for Astrid for anyone else. And its like, bees in my skull whenever she's around, but in a good way. And if I don't see her all day, I start looking for her, cause I want to tell her everything that's been happening to me. And I think about kissing her every time she smiles. And Toothless likes her. Course, I didn't want to tell her I like her like that, because I might do it wrong and she's got a mean right hook, and would have gotten weird if we got loopy every time we were training a class together, but- "

Hiccup paused, mid-word, as if he finally realized he was blathering.

"So... yeah."

"Did you object to the idea of marriage, then?"

"What? No. I mean Astrid and I, we... already belong together. Having a ceremony would just be letting people know."

"Then what was it?"

"It was just... one last problem. And it was with me, and you'll probably be like Astrid and think I was making a big deal out of nothing, but I thought it was something I shouldn't bring into a marriage. I l-..." he stopped himself, then squaring his shoulders, "I. Love. Astrid. And I love her too much for anything to come between us."

The look on his boy's face made it clear Hiccup thought he would have to spell out every worry and every concern he'd had since this 'problem' began. But Stoick knew without his son saying another word. He had seen one of his best friends loose and arm and a leg in a month's time. And when Gobber had first recovered, he hadn't made any jokes about how delicious he was.

It had taken the man far longer to get back on his feet than it had taken Hiccup. And Gobber had asked his wife - That Vile Woman - to leave him and go back to her people in Freezing To Death. There had been no love between them at the end, and it had long since become clear That Woman thought he was less of a man because there was less of him. But Gobber had watched her ship sail away until just before it reached the horizon, and he had turned back to the village with despair in his face.

The look on his son's face was frighteningly familiar.

He placed a comforting hand on his son's back.

"A life well lived will not always harm the love between two people." he told Hiccup, "And proof of an act of incredible courage and strength is something to always be proud of."

Hiccup's lip twitched, trying for an ironic smile. It just made him look tired. "Wish I had figured that out a year ago. You might have had a grandchild by now."

"Now that you mentioned it, how many are you planning on having?"

"Dad..."

"Just a rough estimate, so I know." Stoick said, looking over the contract, "It takes a while to get baby things together. Blankets, clothes, Bows and Arrows, Battle axes."

"We were getting to that when you walked in."

"You were trying to start a family on the hearth when I walked in?"

"What? No! Dad..."

"Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, I saw you moving next to the girl. And using the beast as an excuse..."

The Beast in question made an exasperated noise, as if asking to be left out of the discussion.

"Fine, fine! We won't see each other again until the ceremony."

"Now, I didn't say that. But you don't to seem to think your problem is a problem anymore. How did that happen?"

"Nothing happened on the hearth." Hiccup muttered.

"But something did happen, or else your foul mood would still be around. What made you realize that what happened to your leg wasn't important to marrying the girl?"

Hiccup looked at his father with an analytical eye.

"The short version?"

"And sometime this century, son."

"Well, I was going to tell her that I couldn't marry her. But she and Toothless tracked me down. She trapped me in the back of a cave until I told her what was wrong."

"And?"

"And I told her why I thought we couldn't be together."

"And?"

"And she thought otherwise, and told me so."

"And?"

"And I didn't believe her. Or I didn't want to believe her after I had taken so much time convincing myself. So I told her as much. She smacked me around a bit, and..."

"And?"

"And then she... well she had to.. uh... show me."

Stoick had never seen anything as red as his son's face, outside of the hide of a Monstrous Nightmare.

"And, I, uh, believed her after that."

Ah hah.

Clearly Astrid was a far better woman than Gobber's wife had ever been. And a damn good problem solver to boot.

"Right. Well. I'll just go talk to the elder, then?"

* * *

**THE END **

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**

_Stay tuned for the next story in the series... 'Deep Woods' coming in December 2010_

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****[28] **While Viking Marriages were similar to our own, a few details stand out as relatively unique. There would be two swords present in the ceremony: one ancient one passed down through the groom's family that would be given to the bride for safe keeping until the birth of her sons. The other sword was a new one given in trust to the groom. While both bride and groom used their respective swords during the exchange of rings, the groom's actually had a double purpose. When he and his wife entered their home for the first time he would rush the main wooden pillar of the house, stabbing it with the sword. If the sword made a certain kind of deep mark, their happiness was relatively assured. Hiccup definitely needs to practice.

**[29] **A Viking Maiden of means typically wore a headband or 'kransen' symbolizing her chastity. (Ironically enough, in the movie, Astrid is the only girl her age wearing one. All those in favor of not thinking of Ruffnut having an active social life?) On the day of her wedding, the girl's headband was removed and replaced with a wedding crown. Some Scandinavian wedding ceremonies today feature a straw crown, made specifically for the bride and the ceremony. However, there is archeological evidence that in Astrid and Hiccup's day the crown was a metal one, passed down in a matriarchal line, and used by each family's bride on her big day.

**[30]** Astrid is protecting Hiccup again. The tea she's drinking is a traditional Germanic medicine to discourage conception. While Viking couples prayed to the Goddess Freya to bring them as many children as possible, having a child out of wedlock would be the worst thing a couple could do. At best, it would be a shame on both families and leave the girl ineligible to collect her family inheritance. At worst, the male relatives of the girl could track down and kill the potential father, even if pregnancy was only suspected. Some source material even points to several Viking myths where an epic hero was killed by this future in-laws for not proposing to his true love in a timely fashion. The village has stretched a lot of its social laws to allow two of it's young heroes the chance to be together. But a pregnancy would be the last straw.

**[31]** The Vikings had petty contests even during their marriage ceremonies. After the bride and groom shared the kiss that completed the wedding ceremony, they were given a running start as the entire wedding party raced back to the hall where the reception was being held. The groom had to make sure to run quicker than his bride so he could stop her from entering the hall without him. And the rest of the wedding party couldn't mosey back either. Tradition stated that whichever guest crossed the threshold last, their side of the family would have to serve food and drinks for the rest of the reception. Not a small prize to win, when Viking Wedding celebrations could go on for 3 days. It is unknown if tripping, clothes lining and kicking-the-back-of-the-knee-HALO-style throw downs were permissible during the race.

**[32]** Sorry to all those dreaming of Hiccup and Astrid living Happily Ever After in a little lodge on a cliff with a white Stonehenge fence. Viking families lived en mass under the same roof. It was a way for the head of the family to keep track of everyone year-round and keep everyone frostbite free in the winters. Awkward mornings with Stoick are far from a thing of the past.


End file.
